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Have you asked your FIL what HE thinks of the incident? Maybe just an open-ended question, something that will give him some room to start an honest conversation with you. He may just surprise you with his insight/answer and may come up with some pretty good solutions for going forward. If nothing else, it will plant a seed of thought for him to self analyze the situation and he may come back to you at a later date and want to continue the conversation. Its a difficult spot to be in for sure, we want to allow them their independence but be able to secure their safety as well as everyone else s :( Good luck to you, I hope things are settling down some for you and your family.