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The Wally Walk is the rite of passage by which you become a fully vested armed citizen. Yea, though you walk through the valley of http://www.peopleofwalmart.com (eye protection required), you both fear no evil and cause no concern. It's a tradition some say begun by none other than Canadian Bat Masterson himself, whose first steps while heeled took him through a Henryville general store run by Elephant Foot Elsie where he was astounded by how many cowpokes shopped for beans in their PJ's.

Elephant Foot Elsie, while forgotten by history, is well remembered in Wal Mart fashion. Her overly tight short-shorts, muffin-top waist, and overtaxed thongs reverberate from frontier times all the way through to modern checkout lines.

Conceal, tour a Walmart, gain confidence, be a standup law-abiding citizen.

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