Top 10 Things I Learned as a Copper

Most CHL/LEO contacts are positive, how about yours? Bloopers are fun, but no names please, if it will cause a LEO problems!

Moderators: carlson1, Keith B

User avatar

Topic author
Keith B
Moderator
Posts in topic: 3
Posts: 18491
Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2007 3:29 pm

Top 10 Things I Learned as a Copper

#1

Post by Keith B »

A friend of mine who is a retired LEO posted this on Facebook. He was a 2 year veteran of the force when I joined the department 30+ years ago. I figured the active and retired LEO's could relate, and the rest of the members could get a laugh out of it. ;-)

1. The proper way to use a night stick is hard and sneaky.
2. Chiefs of Police have no sense of humor.
3. Your gun is not a magic wand, or a microphone. It is only good for making loud noises and creating paperwork.
4. If your patrol car is airborne you are making a mistake.
5. Be polite. Say sir and ma'am. It doesn't make anyone bullet proof and it lets you get close enough to use your night stick.
6. Apparently Jesus lives in the county jail.
7. Never make plans. It just confuses the Sargent .
8. If you have to explain something to a Lieutenant he is not going to get it, and no matter how funny it is he is not going to see the humor.
9. If a woman flirts with you she is guilty...you are not that sexy.
10. Slapping some jerk with a shotgun is fun but the paperwork and Federal Court is problematic....
Keith
Texas LTC Instructor, Missouri CCW Instructor, NRA Certified Pistol, Rifle, Shotgun Instructor and RSO, NRA Life Member

Psalm 82:3-4
User avatar

RoyGBiv
Senior Member
Posts in topic: 2
Posts: 9505
Joined: Wed Jan 05, 2011 11:41 am
Location: Fort Worth

Re: Top 10 Things I Learned as a Copper

#2

Post by RoyGBiv »

Keith B wrote: 6. Apparently Jesus lives in the county jail..
LOL..!

Although this one escaped me... :confused5 :bigear:
I am not a lawyer. This is NOT legal advice.!
Nothing tempers idealism quite like the cold bath of reality.... SQLGeek

SRH78
Senior Member
Posts in topic: 1
Posts: 513
Joined: Thu Dec 15, 2011 8:53 pm

Re: Top 10 Things I Learned as a Copper

#3

Post by SRH78 »

I got a good chuckle out of 4 & 9, in particular. :biggrinjester:

RottenApple
Senior Member
Posts in topic: 1
Posts: 1743
Joined: Sun Jan 09, 2011 3:19 pm

Re: Top 10 Things I Learned as a Copper

#4

Post by RottenApple »

Keith B wrote:2. Chiefs of Police have no sense of humor.
I dunno about this one. I'm pretty good friends (he's married to an old highschool friend of mine) with the Chief in Johnstown, CO and he is absolutely hilarious. Why, the stories I could tell you about stuff that he did on our 20th High School Reunion Cruise...... Well, lets just say that if word got out to his officers, I'd never be able to set foot in CO again. "rlol"
User avatar

Topic author
Keith B
Moderator
Posts in topic: 3
Posts: 18491
Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2007 3:29 pm

Re: Top 10 Things I Learned as a Copper

#5

Post by Keith B »

RottenApple wrote:
Keith B wrote:2. Chiefs of Police have no sense of humor.
I dunno about this one. I'm pretty good friends (he's married to an old highschool friend of mine) with the Chief in Johnstown, CO and he is absolutely hilarious. Why, the stories I could tell you about stuff that he did on our 20th High School Reunion Cruise...... Well, lets just say that if word got out to his officers, I'd never be able to set foot in CO again. "rlol"
What's funny about this one is I think he is referring to my Brother-In-Law. :lol:
Keith
Texas LTC Instructor, Missouri CCW Instructor, NRA Certified Pistol, Rifle, Shotgun Instructor and RSO, NRA Life Member

Psalm 82:3-4
User avatar

The Annoyed Man
Senior Member
Posts in topic: 1
Posts: 26790
Joined: Wed Jan 16, 2008 12:59 pm
Location: North Richland Hills, Texas
Contact:

Re: Top 10 Things I Learned as a Copper

#6

Post by The Annoyed Man »

Keith B wrote: 6. Apparently Jesus lives in the county jail..
Not true. He lives in the ER, and shows up every time you show someone a hypodermic needle.
“Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. And, weak men create hard times.”

― G. Michael Hopf, "Those Who Remain"

#TINVOWOOT
User avatar

MoJo
Senior Member
Posts in topic: 1
Posts: 4899
Joined: Thu Dec 23, 2004 6:10 pm
Location: Vidor, Tx
Contact:

Re: Top 10 Things I Learned as a Copper

#7

Post by MoJo »

The Annoyed Man wrote:
Keith B wrote: 6. Apparently Jesus lives in the county jail..
Not true. He lives in the ER, and shows up every time you show someone a hypodermic needle.
:iagree:
"To disarm the people is the best and most effectual way to enslave them."
George Mason
Texas and Louisiana CHL Instructor, NRA Pistol, Rifle, Shotgun, Personal Protection and Refuse To Be A Victim Instructor
User avatar

RoyGBiv
Senior Member
Posts in topic: 2
Posts: 9505
Joined: Wed Jan 05, 2011 11:41 am
Location: Fort Worth

Re: Top 10 Things I Learned as a Copper

#8

Post by RoyGBiv »

TxLobo wrote:Jesus may live in the county jail, and I saw lots of inmates that "found" him...
Thanks.. Too much schnitzel for dinner has addled my mind.. :oops: :mrgreen:
I am not a lawyer. This is NOT legal advice.!
Nothing tempers idealism quite like the cold bath of reality.... SQLGeek
User avatar

9mmfan
Senior Member
Posts in topic: 1
Posts: 216
Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2008 3:08 am
Location: Weatherford

Re: Top 10 Things I Learned as a Copper

#9

Post by 9mmfan »

Very funny. Particularly nos. 1, 4, 5 and 9.
A man can never have too much red wine, too many books, or too much ammunition
-Rudyard Kipling
User avatar

gigag04
Senior Member
Posts in topic: 1
Posts: 5474
Joined: Wed May 04, 2005 7:47 pm
Location: Houston

Re: Top 10 Things I Learned as a Copper

#10

Post by gigag04 »

Day shift Lieutenants definitely don't get the joke that was hysteically funny on the (recorded) radio at 4am after you and your buddies went back in service from lunch.


I know because I got in a "that's what she said" at a really opportune time and got called on it...
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. - Thomas Edison
User avatar

Excaliber
Moderator
Posts in topic: 1
Posts: 6182
Joined: Tue May 27, 2008 9:59 pm
Location: DFW Metro

Re: Top 10 Things I Learned as a Copper

#11

Post by Excaliber »

gigag04 wrote:Day shift Lieutenants definitely don't get the joke that was hysteically funny on the (recorded) radio at 4am after you and your buddies went back in service from lunch.


I know because I got in a "that's what she said" at a really opportune time and got called on it...
If you don't get called in every once in a while, you're probably no longer having any fun at all.
Excaliber

"An unarmed man can only flee from evil, and evil is not overcome by fleeing from it." - Jeff Cooper
I am not a lawyer. Nothing in any of my posts should be construed as legal or professional advice.
User avatar

anygunanywhere
Senior Member
Posts in topic: 1
Posts: 7863
Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2005 9:16 am
Location: Richmond, Texas

Re: Top 10 Things I Learned as a Copper

#12

Post by anygunanywhere »

Keith B wrote: 6. Apparently Jesus lives in the county jail.
Well, actually, He does live there, and he commanded us to visit Him there.

Anygunanywhere
"When democracy turns to tyranny, the armed citizen still gets to vote." Mike Vanderboegh

"The Smallest Minority on earth is the individual. Those who deny individual rights cannot claim to be defenders of minorities." – Ayn Rand

srothstein
Senior Member
Posts in topic: 2
Posts: 5273
Joined: Sat Dec 16, 2006 8:27 pm
Location: Luling, TX

Re: Top 10 Things I Learned as a Copper

#13

Post by srothstein »

Excaliber wrote:
gigag04 wrote:Day shift Lieutenants definitely don't get the joke that was hysteically funny on the (recorded) radio at 4am after you and your buddies went back in service from lunch.


I know because I got in a "that's what she said" at a really opportune time and got called on it...
If you don't get called in every once in a while, you're probably no longer having any fun at all.
And probably not working very hard either.
Steve Rothstein

srothstein
Senior Member
Posts in topic: 2
Posts: 5273
Joined: Sat Dec 16, 2006 8:27 pm
Location: Luling, TX

Re: Top 10 Things I Learned as a Copper

#14

Post by srothstein »

Thanks, Keith, they are pretty good. Remembering that I started in law enforcement in the 70's just as federal grants were ramping up the college programs in law enforcement, I was taught a slightly different version of number 1. I was taught it as "Police Science is best applied at the end of a night stick."
Steve Rothstein
Post Reply

Return to “LEO Contacts & Bloopers”