Does Your SO Give Out Too Much Info?

[v-rog]

I usually do something similar. I'll walk up to my wife and introduce myself to the neighbors. As for the questions that you would ask the neighbors, I'd have to take this one step further and consider the race of the neighbors before asking the questions below. Otherwise, the "friendship" may likely suffer a bit and/or they may not become allies.

Tonight she took the dog out for potty and was out longer than usual. I got worried and walked outside to find her talking to the new neighbors. I whistled and she came back a few seconds later. I told her that id prefer her not speaking to the neighbors and telling them anything about us. She said she didnt say anything except her name and the name of our dog.

I told her that id seen a bunch of what i thought were illegal aliens over there and i dont want them knowing anything about us.

She got upset, but i told her she'd done it before.

Wow. Upset husband comes out of house and whistles/hollers at wife/gf to get her self back inside while she's in the middle of introducing herself to the new neighbors... That doesn't look like an abusive relationship or anything from the outside right? Your followup posts clarify it a little bit but, like many of the men here, I would be in hot water if I had done that.

If my wife were out there and i was uncomfortable with the new neighbors I would probably go introduce myself to them as well, steer the conversation away from anything personal and use it as an information gathering opportunity. Asking just general trivia questions like "how long does it take to swim across the Rio Grande?" or "how fast can the average person scale a 16-foot chain link fence?" or "whats the best way to find work without having to fill out any paperwork." Based on their answers you could see if they really were "illegals" or not.

[kjolly]

Rather than living your life in parnoid fear, maintain a strong defense and enjoy your life.
Being from Texas myself most of us know its rude and possibly dangerous to whistle for someone to heel.

[Oldgringo]

Well, to each his own. OTH, I live in a nice quiet crime-free neighborhood. Also, my wife is the silent one and I'm the chatty one. But there are things I won't talk about with a total stranger.....my gun collection or my CHL, for instance.

That said, if you whistled at my wife to call her in, she'd kick your butt when she got inside for disrespecting her like that. Whistling to call someone over is for your hunting dogs. You do it to your wife/girlfriend, and you get what you deserve........


........just my 2¢. Your mileage may vary.

TAM's right as usual. You should have got in your vehicle and honked the horn...a lot.

[TLynnHughes]

Well, to each his own. OTH, I live in a nice quiet crime-free neighborhood. Also, my wife is the silent one and I'm the chatty one. But there are things I won't talk about with a total stranger.....my gun collection or my CHL, for instance.

That said, if you whistled at my wife to call her in, she'd kick your butt when she got inside for disrespecting her like that. Whistling to call someone over is for your hunting dogs. You do it to your wife/girlfriend, and you get what you deserve........


........just my 2¢. Your mileage may vary.

TAM's right as usual. You should have got in your vehicle and honked the horn...a lot.

My grandpa used to do that to my grandma...a lot. My grandpa died 20 years ago. Grandma's still going strong. Hmmmmm.......

T.

[jocat54]

I have no problem talking to people, especially new neighbors, I want to know about them. If your wife(girl friend) likes to talk, try to explain that having a casual conversation and giving out to much info are two different things. There is no reason not to talk to friendly people, you can do it without giving out important info(known as small talk).

I've been married to my bride for 36 years-probably because I don't whistle for her to come, she's my wife not my dog. If you called her name and she didn't hear you--walk over!!!! A relationship is a two way street.

Just an old guy's opinion and worth exactly what you pay for it--nothing

[strider67]

I currently have a call into my lawyer to make sure all of my affairs are in order...just in case I forget and actually whistle at my wife to "heel"!

[Oldgringo]

FWIW, none of my wifes ever responded real well to, "hey you!" either. YMMV.

[Keith B]

I currently have a call into my lawyer to make sure all of my affairs are in order...just in case I forget and actually whistle at my wife to "heel"!

I was thinking more like funeral prearrangements would be in order; she will worry about the lawyer and insurance settlement afterward.

[dihappy]

Tonight she took the dog out for potty and was out longer than usual. I got worried and walked outside to find her talking to the new neighbors. I whistled and she came back a few seconds later. I told her that id prefer her not speaking to the neighbors and telling them anything about us. She said she didnt say anything except her name and the name of our dog.

I told her that id seen a bunch of what i thought were illegal aliens over there and i dont want them knowing anything about us.

She got upset, but i told her she'd done it before.

Wow. Upset husband comes out of house and whistles/hollers at wife/gf to get her self back inside while she's in the middle of introducing herself to the new neighbors... That doesn't look like an abusive relationship or anything from the outside right? Your followup posts clarify it a little bit but, like many of the men here, I would be in hot water if I had done that.

If my wife were out there and i was uncomfortable with the new neighbors I would probably go introduce myself to them as well, steer the conversation away from anything personal and use it as an information gathering opportunity. Asking just general trivia questions like "how long does it take to swim across the Rio Grande?" or "how fast can the average person scale a 16-foot chain link fence?" or "whats the best way to find work without having to fill out any paperwork." Based on their answers you could see if they really were "illegals" or not.

I dont need to, nor care to ask them directly if they are here illegally. I have lived next door to the landlords, before they started renting to rif-raff and always had problems with them and their inconsiderate ways.

My Grand Parents and now my Father have lived next door to the numerous "renters" for years also, each lot is the same. 4 or 5 cars piled up on the lawn and in front of our house, drinking all day and night, loud music, trash, dogs everywhere, police, and the smell of sewage.

Forgive me for making assumptions, but i dont care if i hurt thier feelings by not going over to intruduce myself, and yelling for my girlfriend while shes over talking to them on the front porch at 12am is exactly what i felt needed to be done to get her away from them.

Im not a rude guy, but i do know when/where to draw the line. These new nieghbors have already started piling up cars, loud music, and trash just like the last 10 or so tenants.

I dont mean to offend anyone here, i love you all.

[dihappy]

I'd be m ing to a new neighborhood...... ALONE If I whistled for my wife to get her attention.

John, i would love to.
I moved down with my girlfriend because my dad was diagnosed with cancer.

I only live with him to care for him until he , God willing, gets better.

[Oldgringo]

dihappy wrote:

...shes over talking to them on the front porch at 12am...

Hmmm, upon further review....

[steveincowtown]

This is a sore spot between my girlfriend and i. The first time i caught her giving out too much personal info to some tech support person on the phone. Where she worked and what she did, etc. I got snappy with her and she got upset and couldnt understand why i would get upset.

Tonight she took the dog out for potty and was out longer than usual. I got worried and walked outside to find her talking to the new neighbors. I whistled and she came back a few seconds later. I told her that id prefer her not speaking to the neighbors and telling them anything about us. She said she didnt say anything except her name and the name of our dog.

I told her that id seen a bunch of what i thought were illegal aliens over there and i dont want them knowing anything about us.

She got upset, but i told her she'd done it before.

Anyone elses spouse/GF/BF/SO give out too much info?

If you would drag her around by her hair like a caveman, you wouldn't have to ever whistle for her.

Anyhow, sounds like you have been sufficiently made fun of for whistling at/for/towards your significant other. My girlfriend, who lives with me have a loose set of ground rules that we talked about when she moved in. Not to go all Dr. Phil on you, but it is much easier to discuss these things and come to an agreement in advance before problems occur.

Our basics:

Although we live in a great established neighborhood, we don't open the door for anyone that we don't know. We do let me know we are home by saying "not interested" or " I can't open the door, my dog is very aggressive towards strangers."

We want to know all our neighbors well enough to waive hi, say Merry Christmas, etc. but not so well that they are in our business. We are polite, always exchange hellos, but never do the "meet at the fence and have a long conversation" thing. We both agree that this can help avoid future problems.

We don't have a home phone (we are of the age group that doesn't these days) and we don't answer our mobile phones unless the number has been stored in it. If we have to call in for service for Direct TV, Internet, etc. we are friendly, but not give any more information than is required to complete the transaction.

And finally.....this...

Rather than living your life in parnoid fear, maintain a strong defense and enjoy your life.

[Afff_667]

I whistled and she came back a few seconds later.

I want to know how this worked.

Out for dinner on New Year's Eve, my wife asked me for a bite of my desert. I told her that she had to sit first...she didn't think it was too funny, but the couple at the table next to us thought it was hilarious.

I've had the "you give away too much info" talk several times with my wife. I caught her once telling a friend of hers (complete stranger to me) that I had a CHL. Then, there was the time she mentioned the EBRs...

[VMI77]

Well, to each his own. OTH, I live in a nice quiet crime-free neighborhood. Also, my wife is the silent one and I'm the chatty one. But there are things I won't talk about with a total stranger.....my gun collection or my CHL, for instance.

That said, if you whistled at my wife to call her in, she'd kick your butt when she got inside for disrespecting her like that. Whistling to call someone over is for your hunting dogs. You do it to your wife/girlfriend, and you get what you deserve........


........just my 2¢. Your mileage may vary.

I agree with TAM. And even though I know better, I'm more likely to divulge private information than my wife is because sometimes I just can't keep my mouth shut.

[MadMonkey]

I'm getting an intercom and Airsoft gun on a turret for my front door. Should be enough that I never need to leave my room