Wife approached by panhandler scammer

[nightmare69]

When I get approached before the bum can open his mouth I ask him if I can borrow a dollar. Their reaction is priceless.

[mojo84]

When I get approached before the bum can open his mouth I ask him if I can borrow a dollar. Their reaction is priceless.

That's pretty good right there. I may try that but won't recommend my wife or kids do it.

[VMI77]

Not all people like this are scammers. Most of them may be, but I've been approached and given money to people who clearly were in need. In fact, a couple months ago, I was getting gas and a woman asked if I would help her out with some gas. I don't know if her story was true or not, but she didn't ask for money, she brought a gas can and I filled it for her. Another time I was approached outside a Wendy's by a woman on crutches with only one leg who said she was hungry. I gave her some money and she went right into Wendy's and got something to eat. I've also been approached by obvious and potentially dangerous scammers (back before I had a CHL).

Years ago, a guy at HEB came onto my wife and after he got the brush off, he followed her around the store and kept trying. Then he followed her out into the parking lot asking if he could help with her groceries. When she drove off he followed her home. Fortunately, at the time we were living in a row of condos with a garage out back and she was able to get in the garage and close the door before he could tell which unit she entered. This was before cell phones, or at least before they were common, and I got her frantic call at work.....told her to make sure she had a gun handy, and call the cops at any sign of this guy....who apparently drove off after she "escaped." She was rattled for a long time after that. Thankfully, the guy didn't come back. Oh, and btw, she was carrying our 1 year old son at the time, and that didn't slow his attempted advances one bit.

OTOH, my son, currently in Chicago, was approached by a female panhandler coming out of a restaurant, and when he offered to take her inside and buy her a meal, she told him she didn't like that kind of food, and wanted to go to another restaurant. He didn't much care for that response and just walked off. His time in Chicago has pretty much extinguished all the liberal beliefs and tendencies he had before he went there.

[ddurkof]

Complain to the property owner. They don't want to loose the business and can give the panhandler a criminal trespass warning.

Don't give people money or food, it only propagates their behavior. Many of the female panhandlers use their children as props to tug at the heart strings of nice people. This places the kids in danger and teaches them how to scam. Why look for a job when you can make $20+ an hour tax free bumming money from others.

From a tactical point of view don't let them get that close to you.

The professional scammers will laugh at your charity, they consider you a sucker. They are very good a manipulating people.

[Superman]

On giving to panhandlers in general, I'm called to be generous so my policy is to give when asked, if I have it. Someday I will be judged on whether I give or not, the person receiving that gift will be judged on how they use it after I give it. I'm not responsible for how they use it (if I don't reasonably know what they are doing, like the guy in my OP). I only give cash as a last resort though...if they ask me for change for food, I'll offer to buy their meal instead, or if they need change for gas money, I'll buy them gas instead. It's sad to see how many of them change their tune though after you tell them that you will give them what they say they need instead of cash. I can count on one hand the number of times people have actually taken me up on my offers.

[nightmare69]

Most will take your money and use it to buy drugs and alcohol. It's amazing how much money they can make in a few hours.

[jmra]

It's amazing how much money they can make in a few hours.

My wife would see the same guy every morning on her way to work unpacking a wheelchair and his homeless sign from a late model Cadillac (every year or so he was in a new one). He would push the wheelchair across the street and sit down in it with his sign. To her amazement, people who saw him pushing the wheelchair across the street would stop and give him money.
There is no telling how much he rakes in on this scam everyday.

[cb1000rider]

Yea, that's the problem, it's hard to tell the difference between legitimate need and wanting a quick buck. I think offering food/gas in lieu of cash is a good idea, if you're going to do it.
You can certainly make a decent (and I assume tax-free) living at pan-handling in some areas.

[johncanfield]

There is no way the wife and I would hand over money to a panhandler, but we will offer to buy food. A few years ago on a Saturday morning I was doing some work at our church and about 10:30 am three Hispanic males approached me and asked for money for food. I told them if they would wait until lunch time, I would buy them some hamburgers. Sure enough they waited so I told them I'm going on a food run. Bought three whoppers, large fries and three milkshakes - I figured they needed the calories. Made me feel good to help somebody really in need.

Several times my wife has been approached in parking lots by people asking for money to buy food, every time she says I'll be glad to buy you food, but you're not getting cash. In every case they quickly disappeared.

[Superman]

It's amazing how much money they can make in a few hours.

My wife would see the same guy every morning on her way to work unpacking a wheelchair and his homeless sign from a late model Cadillac (every year or so he was in a new one). He would push the wheelchair across the street and sit down in it with his sign. To her amazement, people who saw him pushing the wheelchair across the street would stop and give him money.
There is no telling how much he rakes in on this scam everyday.

There was a local news story in Portland, Oregon many years ago that did a story where they secretly followed a guy who stood at an off ramp all day everyday. At the end of the day, he would walk a few blocks to a parking lot where he would get into his Porsche and drive off. I think you can make quite a bit of money by begging.

[Abraham]

ddurkof,

"Many of the female panhandlers use their children as props to tug at the heart strings of nice people."

I had this experience in a Walmart parking lot and the same women tried to hit me up again about a week later. Obviously, she didn't remember me (understandably, as I'm sure she hits up hundreds of suckers during the course of her, ahem, work...) but I remembered her.

She had the same quick, hard luck story.

I just laughed at and said she ought to change her story once in a while.

She glared at me and quickly drove off.

[The Annoyed Man]

Not all people like this are scammers. Most of them may be, but I've been approached and given money to people who clearly were in need. In fact, a couple months ago, I was getting gas and a woman asked if I would help her out with some gas. I don't know if her story was true or not, but she didn't ask for money, she brought a gas can and I filled it for her. Another time I was approached outside a Wendy's by a woman on crutches with only one leg who said she was hungry. I gave her some money and she went right into Wendy's and got something to eat. I've also been approached by obvious and potentially dangerous scammers (back before I had a CHL).

THIS ^^.

I have been fooled and given money to someone who scammed me with a tale of woe. I have also given money to people who very plainly were in desperate need. I have purchased groceries for a woman panhandling outside a supermarket with her little daughter in tow. When I asked her if she'd take a grocery cart full of food instead of a little money, she cried tears of gratitude, and that's what we did. I filled a cart full of food for her and her little girl.

I have also warned off someone in a loud command voice, who appeared to be up to no good at all. I have compassion, but I'm not blind.

But here's the deal for me, and I totally understand that not everyone shares my faith or worldview..... and if that's you, that's fine......God loves you anyway.....but this is what MY Bible says:

Matthew 25:31-40 (ESV)
The Final Judgment
“When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne. Before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. And he will place the sheep on his right, but the goats on the left. Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’

I do not wish to be numbered among the goats, and if occasionally unintentionally giving something to the wrong person is what it takes to be counted among the sheep, then that is a risk I'll take.

One time my wife and I got accosted by a guy as we were walking on a sidewalk, from our parked car to a restaurant about a half-block away. This guy actually looked clean cut. He had on decent clothes, he was clean shaven, and had clear skin. He gave us a song and dance (yes, that's what it turned out to be) about having just lost his job, having had to spend his savings get his car fixed so he could look for work, and now he didn't have enough money in the bank to feed his kids, yada yada yada. Hey, he looked like a guy who would have had a job, so I gave him $10, and the money no sooner touched his hand then he scampered off down an ally. An obvious derelict laying on the sidewalk nearby started laughing at me and told me that the guy I'd given the money to was a crackhead, and that the crack house was just down the alley.

I tried to get mad about it, and the little guy on my left shoulder in the red pajamas with the horns on his head urged me strongly to do so, but in the end, I decided that I'd rather once in a great while give money to someone I probably shouldn't have, than to risk not giving money to someone in true need...... because, as the end my life, I'm going to go before the Mercy Seat, and I don't want to be found among the goats. All I can do is to try and exercise a little bit of discernment, and then if I still get taken, I get taken.

[Abraham]

Years ago, in downtown Houston, I was waiting in line at Treebeards and a guy come by rolling (well kinda of a roll/bump - roll/bump) a flat tire.

He stopped and his story of woe was so entertaining I gave him a few bucks - not because I felt sorry for him, but because his story was so entertaining.

A few minutes later he stopped again with his beloved tire and darned if I didn't give him a couple of more bucks as his newly fashioned story was again very entertaining. I didn't believe a word of it. I knew he was scamming, but I didn't care. His live entertainment was worth a few bucks.

[VMI77]

I tried to get mad about it, and the little guy on my left shoulder in the red pajamas with the horns on his head urged me strongly to do so, but in the end, I decided that I'd rather once in a great while give money to someone I probably shouldn't have, than to risk not giving money to someone in true need...... because, as the end my life, I'm going to go before the Mercy Seat, and I don't want to be found among the goats. All I can do is to try and exercise a little bit of discernment, and then if I still get taken, I get taken.

I haven't always felt this way, but I have been greatly influenced by my travels in poor countries abroad and by my wife. I too would rather give money to a scammer than fail to help someone truly in need. It's sort of a corollary with the concept of justice....that it is better that a hundred guilty go free than an innocent is unjustly punished. Personally, I've also discovered that this attitude yields greater returns for me and mine than the attitude that put my concern of being scammed above the my desire to help someone in need.

[Jumping Frog]

.. I decided that I'd rather once in a great while give money to someone I probably shouldn't have, than to risk not giving money to someone in true need...... because, as the end my life, I'm going to go before the Mercy Seat

..I too would rather give money to a scammer than fail to help someone truly in need...

My concern is hurting someone instead of helping them. Giving money to a drug addict or alcoholic so they can go use is not helping them.