How guys should behave when unexpectedly approaching a lady

[AJ80]

I've begun walking the Azalea Trail in Lufkin recently, and I always park in the same lot near Lufkin Mall.
My path back to my car makes takes me in front of some parking spots, while the path from the mall to the lot where I park goes beside those spots.
Depending what is parked there sometimes I can't see if someone else is coming or not.

A few days ago, as I was heading back to my car from the Azalea Trail and a lady was headed back toward her car from the mall. I'd estimate that we were less than 10 feet apart when we noticed each other. I just kept walking thinking nothing of it, but then I noticed she started to rush toward her car and looked like she was trying to hurry and get her keys in her car door to open it. I never looked directly at her and I just kept going straight toward my car. I can certainly understand why a lady would get nervous when a guy just pops out like that heading in her direction(especially when starting to get dark like it was), I'm just wondering what I should do if the situation arises again.

Should I make eye contact, smile and greet her? Should I divert my path to make it clear that I'm not trying to go toward her? Should I do what I did and just look straight ahead and keep going? I'm not a big guy and don't consider myself scary looking or intimidating, but I did pop out from in front of those vehicles unexpectedly.

Anyway, just looking for some ladie's opinions on what you would prefer a guy do when he unexpectedly shows up like that.

Thanks,
Aaron

[CompVest]

I would appreciate a smile and a nod with brief eye contact. The smile and nod are friendly. The brief eye contact acknowledges that you saw me and weren't trying to hide or not be noticed. The eye contact does need to be brief if the lady will give you eye contact. You are acknowledging her and not challenging her.

What you did was fine.

[TLynnHughes]

I would appreciate a smile and a nod with brief eye contact. The smile and nod are friendly. The brief eye contact acknowledges that you saw me and weren't trying to hide or not be noticed. The eye contact does need to be brief if the lady will give you eye contact. You are acknowledging her and not challenging her.

What you did was fine.

I agree. I wouldn't even mind a greeting such as a good evening or something, but the nod and smile would be cool.

T.

[AJ80]

Thanks,
I'll try to keep that in mind.
I don't remember anyone ever acting like they were afraid of me before and it was kind of unsettling. I may start going around behind the parked vehicles if they are obstructing my view so that I won't pop up on someone unexpectedly like that again.

[TLynnHughes]

Thanks,
I'll try to keep that in mind.
I don't remember anyone ever acting like they were afraid of me before and it was kind of unsettling. I may start going around behind the parked vehicles if they are obstructing my view so that I won't pop up on someone unexpectedly like that again.

Also, size isn't the only thing that triggers an intimidation factor. Like you said, surprising her was probably the key, then the fact that she was alone and it was getting dark didn't help. And every day we're starting to hear about folks getting attacked in broad daylight in a busy parking lots, so my guard is certainly up these days.

T.

[Crossfire]

I would appreciate a smile and a nod with brief eye contact. The smile and nod are friendly. The brief eye contact acknowledges that you saw me and weren't trying to hide or not be noticed. The eye contact does need to be brief if the lady will give you eye contact. You are acknowledging her and not challenging her.

What you did was fine.

Exactly what I would have said.
Anything less is rude. Anything more is creepy.

[AJ80]

Thanks,
I'll try to keep that in mind.
I don't remember anyone ever acting like they were afraid of me before and it was kind of unsettling. I may start going around behind the parked vehicles if they are obstructing my view so that I won't pop up on someone unexpectedly like that again.

Also, size isn't the only thing that triggers an intimidation factor. Like you said, surprising her was probably the key, then the fact that she was alone and it was getting dark didn't help. And every day we're starting to hear about folks getting attacked in broad daylight in a busy parking lots, so my guard is certainly up these days.

T.

I certainly understand that. I keep my guard up as well, especially since I always walk the trail alone. I notice some people walk in large groups, which is a good idea.

[gigag04]

Maybe raising your voice and announcing yourself as a CHL holder might be in order...



JK

I think you were fine.

[DONT TREAD ON ME]

Maybe raising your voice and announcing yourself as a CHL holder might be in order...



JK

I think you were fine.

He would not have to do that if he had the CHL Badge or sash! (Sorry I could not resist)

[Keith B]

From a guys perspective, similar to what the ladies have said above, I have found a nice "Hi" and a smile as an acknowledgment works well. Then go on about your business, without staring her down, as too much eye contact will put them on guard again. Also, if possible, adjust your track away to the side a little, even if only a few feet. Moving at even a slight angle away from a person indicates you don't have them as your target and that you are merely passing to get on to your real destination.

[fm2]

I've had similar situations happen as well. I walk pretty fast and one time a lady didn't notice me, (she was task focused looking- in her purse) until I was about 3-4 ft. away from her. My car was parked further from the door than hers and we were walking down the same lane. She got startled, sped up and got to her driver door and started trying to open the door. My visual scan picked her up walking toward her car, I didn't realize she was really startled until she was trying to open the driver door glancing back and forth between me & the car door. I gave here a questioning look and broke 90 degrees walking away from her, walked over a lane and continued in my original direction.

Learning point- If there's only a car length between you and the unknown contact (person), there's probably not enough time to get the car unlocked, get into the car and lock the door if the bad guy is after you. A better plan may be to move to put the car between you and the unknown contact while scanning for bad guy #2 or a car pacing you.

[Outbreaker]

If you were on the Azalea trail I would have given the smile and nod (always do an works great) followed by
Aren't the flowers beautiful (if they are) then move on.

[sjfcontrol]

Alright, a story is in order. An old story...

Many years ago, in a galaxy far, far away (i.e. Atlanta Georgia)...

As a teen ager, I had a job working for a company in Atlanta. I had been "imported" from Kansas, and had to walk about a mile every morning (and evening) to get to (from) the worksite. On this morning I was walking (fast pace) to work when I noticed a woman (elderly, must have been at least thirty) in front of me acting strangely. At first I didn't pay much attention, but noticed that she seemed to speed up every time I started to get close to her. Unfortunately, due to her advanced age, everytime she managed to get a little bit ahead of me cause she ran, she slowed down and I started to approach her again. Eventually, she sprinted diagonally across the street (may have suffered a heart attack due to the extreme exertion). Anyway, she went her way, and I went mine (across the street from her).

Ok, reading this, maybe it wasn't the be all, and end all of fascinating stories, but I remember terrorizing this poor woman, just because I was walking to work.


Sucks to be her, I guess... Wonder what ever happened to her...

[Mike1951]

I had just fueled my truck, when it wouldn’t start. There was a woman fueling her car on the opposite end and side of the pump island. I just stepped around my pumps so that I was on the same side as she, still 25-30’ from her. I said, “Excuse me”. She tensed and was obviously trying to ignore me. Louder this time, I repeated, “excuse me”. She freaked out and jumped back into her car. All I had wanted was to ask if she had jumper cables.

Thankfully, another woman pulled up in a pickup. She offered her help and jumper cables. No way to know what to expect.

[sjfcontrol]

I had just fueled my truck, when it wouldn’t start. There was a woman fueling her car on the opposite end and side of the pump island. I just stepped around my pumps so that I was on the same side as she, still 25-30’ from her. I said, “Excuse me”. She tensed and was obviously trying to ignore me. Louder this time, I repeated, “excuse me”. She freaked out and jumped back into her car. All I had wanted was to ask if she had jumper cables.

Thankfully, another woman pulled up in a pickup. She offered her help and jumper cables. No way to know what to expect.

Serves you right for only accepting jumper cables from women -- obviously a stalker...