Happy 70th Birthday! - Chuck Norris

[longhorn_92]

It came as a surprise to learn that today is a special day...

Movie tough guy Chuck Norris today celebrates his 70th birthday. Can you imagine that? He is 70 years old!!!

So, to mark this momentous occasion, here are ten favorite pieces of information about the 'world's greatest human'.

1. Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

2. Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

3. When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the earth down.

4. Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than death can process them.

5. Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

6. Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

7. Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

8. A cobra once bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

9. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

10. The most honorable way of dying is taking a bullet for Chuck Norris. This amuses Chuck Norris because he is bullet-proof.

[USA1]

Wow, 70 ? I had no idea.

BTW, those are great. I love the one that says..Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

[SQLGeek]

Indeed it is. My favorite Chuck Norris fact of all time:

When the boogie man goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

[Baba Brad]

Chuck Norris invented the first C-Section when he round house kicked his way out of the womb.

[MojoTexas]

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

[MojoTexas]

Also...Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

[cougartex]

Happy Birthday.

[MasterofFajitas]

In honor of Chuck Norris' 70th birthday, I threw out my stove, microwave, and toaster -- because revenge is a dish best served cold.

[t_kopecky]

Chuck Norris once punched a man in his soul.

[Mando'a]

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

Happy Birthday Chuck!!!

[Drewthetexan]

Chuck Norris did a roundhouse kick so fast that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart.

[cougartex]

Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.

Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your rear, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.

Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.

[WildBill]

Indeed it is. My favorite Chuck Norris fact of all time:

When the boogie man goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

It's sad for us guys who know that a 70 yr old guy can still kick our behinds.

[budroux2w]

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.