10 Darwin Awards that prove "You can't fix stupid."

Topics that do not fit anywhere else. Absolutely NO discussions of religion, race, or immigration!

Moderators: carlson1, Charles L. Cotton

Post Reply

Topic author
surprise_i'm_armed
Senior Member
Posts in topic: 1
Posts: 4611
Joined: Mon Mar 09, 2009 1:16 am
Location: Shady Shores, Denton County. On the shores of Lake Lewisville. John Wayne filmed here.

10 Darwin Awards that prove "You can't fix stupid."

#1

Post by surprise_i'm_armed »

The Darwin Awards are out!
Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.

Here is the glorious winner:

1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company. expecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for three days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you AND gives you money, is a crime committed?]

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast... The man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motorhome parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had

In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends and family....unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.

*** Remember they walk among us and they breed and vote.

SIA
N. Texas LTC's hold 3 breakfasts each month. All are 800 AM. OC is fine.
2nd Saturdays: Rudy's BBQ, N. Dallas Pkwy, N.bound, N. of Main St., Frisco.
3rd Saturdays: Golden Corral, 465 E. I-20, Collins St exit, Arlington.
4th Saturdays: Sunny St. Cafe, off I-20, Exit 415, Mikus Rd, Willow Park.

DONT TREAD ON ME

Re: 10 Darwin Awards that prove "You can't fix stupid."

#2

Post by DONT TREAD ON ME »

I love this stuff...its true you cant fix stupid! :cheers2:

longtooth
Senior Member
Posts in topic: 2
Posts: 12329
Joined: Sun Jun 12, 2005 3:31 pm
Location: Angelina County

Re: 10 Darwin Awards that prove "You can't fix stupid."

#3

Post by longtooth »

And you cant make stuff like that up either.
Image
Carry 24-7 or guess right.
CHL Instructor. http://www.pdtraining.us" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
NRA/TSRA Life Member - TFC Member #11
User avatar

carlson1
Moderator
Posts in topic: 1
Posts: 11653
Joined: Sat Dec 03, 2005 1:11 am

Re: 10 Darwin Awards that prove "You can't fix stupid."

#4

Post by carlson1 »

I am always amazed. Thanks for the post SIA.
Image

longtooth
Senior Member
Posts in topic: 2
Posts: 12329
Joined: Sun Jun 12, 2005 3:31 pm
Location: Angelina County

Re: 10 Darwin Awards that prove "You can't fix stupid."

#5

Post by longtooth »

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.


I saw this one. Hilarious. :smilelol5: :rolll "rlol"
Image
Carry 24-7 or guess right.
CHL Instructor. http://www.pdtraining.us" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
NRA/TSRA Life Member - TFC Member #11
User avatar

Fangs
Senior Member
Posts in topic: 1
Posts: 1229
Joined: Thu Dec 04, 2008 9:18 pm
Location: San Marcos, TX

Re: 10 Darwin Awards that prove "You can't fix stupid."

#6

Post by Fangs »

Most of these have to be honorable mentions... to actually get a Darwin Award you have to be dead or incapable of reproducing. The whole non-survival of the stupid ones theory.
"When I was a kid, people who did wrong were punished, restricted, and forbidden. Now, when someone does wrong, all of the rest of us are punished, restricted, and forbidden. The one who did the wrong is counselled and "understood" and fed ice cream." - speedsix
User avatar

The Annoyed Man
Senior Member
Posts in topic: 1
Posts: 26790
Joined: Wed Jan 16, 2008 12:59 pm
Location: North Richland Hills, Texas
Contact:

Re: 10 Darwin Awards that prove "You can't fix stupid."

#7

Post by The Annoyed Man »

If you go to DarwinAwards.com, there are some more recent awards for 2009. Also, there are some good suggestions for the Darwin Awards motto:

"Chlorinating the Gene Pool"

"What would Darwin do?"

"I DON'T THINK, therefore I am not." -Descartes' last words? (my favorite :mrgreen: )

"Evolution in Action"

"The Shallow End of the Gene Pool"

"Population Control Volunteers"

"DARWIN AWARDS: Culling the Herd"

"The Tree of Life is Self-Pruning "
“Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. And, weak men create hard times.”

― G. Michael Hopf, "Those Who Remain"

#TINVOWOOT
Post Reply

Return to “Off-Topic”