My first carry, really!

[rwg3]

This story of my first carry came after much reading of the forums and is submitted with tongue firmly in cheeck. Any resemblence to any persons here or there livng or dead is accidental and/or coincidental.

1100hrs. What a great day! At long last the official envelope from the state was in the mailbox along with the big envelope from Missouri that had my new super holster in it. To the accompaniment of heralding trumpets I reached my quivering hand into the mailbox and at the mere touch of the envelope, hair started to re-grow upon my addled pate. As I slowly drew the envelope towards me I feel myself growing at least three inches taller. Tremulously opening the envelope and checking the spelling on the magic plastic my waist shrank four sizes and the long lost washboard suddenly emerged from hibernation to resume its place of pride. I grabbed the rest of the mail and sprinted the 200 yards up my driveway in just under 17 seconds, and pausing on the porch to smooth my luxuriant locks into some semblance of order , I entered my domicile and deposited the mail on the kitchen table. I needed to sit for a moment to just gaze in awe and wonder at the magnificent picture on the card. Finally breaking free of the almost narcotic trance I opened the big package to find the custom made blacktuckcrossmikesuper holster (in tanned Lippizaner horsehide), with the hand etched, mother of pearl inlayed picture of my EDC on it.

1115hrs. I knew then that it was time to assume the mantle of CHL-man and become armed like so many of my brethren. Frantically tearing through my closet looking for a thick wide belt from my youth, now required to fit my svelte physique, I came across an old hand tooled belt that was present from Mee-maw many moons ago. Threading it through the loops of my now baggy jeans and sliding the holster into position, attaching the hooks and cinching it tight, I could feel the positive electricity fairly crackling out of my fingertips. Activating the fingerprint scanner I pried open the safe and took out my new everyday carry, the M-1 (pocket addition). Tentatively sliding it into the holster for the first time I was more nervous than at my senior prom, slow dancing to Color My World with the farmer’s daughter. Of course, it fit like the proverbial glove. Unfortunately the gain in height required a new shirt to cover it but not a problem, My old trench coat now fit my rippling chest like it was sprayed on and was just long enough to drape without printing. Looking at my magnificence in the mirror I knew that my Wal-mart would shortly be safe for at least 45 minutes.

1200hrs. Jumping into my Maserati tuned ORV, I had the 575 horses thundering in no time. With a cloud of burnt rubber and a, hearty Hi-ho Silver I was at Wally world in mere minutes. Upon arrival I activated the built-in threat assessment systems and cruising slowly through the lot checking to make sure that no bad guys were lurking. Finding a generously wide double slot I pulled in at ding-proof angle and exited the vehicle. Subtly checking to make sure my new M-1(pocket edition) was firmly seated in the expensive holster I began my Wally walk. 45 minutes and an order of nachos later I was wiping the cheese off my trench coat and heading out the door.

1250hrs. As I hit the parking lot I slipped my Marvel, X-ray glasses on and gave the approaching civilians a quick once over to determine the threat level. All was good to go, so I strode boldly, nay almost intimidating, down the lane to my ride. But wait, just as I was pushing the remote to unlock the doors, a loud and ugly sedan full of young males, wheeled into the space next to me. To my concern, they proceeded to pull up their hoodies and threw open the doors. Not to be intimidated, I slid my hand into waistband and tightly gripped my butt, the gun that is. Never taking my eyes off them for second I slid into my vehicle and swiftly locked the doors. It was then I noticed the first Baptist Choir emblem on the backs of the matching sweatshirts. Condition green and back home I rode. All in all a successful first carry.

Faithfully recorded by, Boswell

[RPB]

[Lambda Force]

Never taking my eyes off them for second I slid into my vehicle and swiftly locked the doors. It was then I noticed the first Baptist Choir emblem on the backs of the matching sweatshirts. Condition green and back home I rode. All in all a successful first carry.

I salute you. It's not easy being green,

[USA1]

What! No pictures! ??!!