Why do .44's travel faster after 900 PM? Answer follows.

[surprise_i'm_armed]

This is a little funny story that I wanted to share with y'all.

I met a guy who is a native of upstate New York. He now lives in the DFW Metroplex.
I don't know all of the guns that he owned in that anti state, but one of his was a .44 revolver, Smith and Wesson, IIRC.

Well, his daughter was dating a boyfriend that Dad absolutely could do without.

One day the Dad was sitting at the kitchen table, cleaning his .44. Ammo was on the table.

The daughter had a 900 PM curfew for her dates with Mr. Wrong.

When Mr. Wrong showed up, Dad looked up from the table, and tossed him a .44 round, which Mr. Wrong
caught, but with a perplexed look on his face.

Dad then said "Those travel a lot faster after 900 PM!".

I still chuckle at him telling that story.

SIA

[schufflerbot]

hahahah

oh, man - i'm going to have to remember this for when my daughter brings home an undesirable.




lord have mercy I hope she never brings home an undesirable.

*sigh*

[olafpfj]

BRILLIANT!!!!

My daughter is only 5 1/2 but she is blond haired and blue eyed. The shotgun is already oiled and ready...

[Sidro]

Great story. Years ago when my daughter had a date pick her up I always answered the door to let them in. Once they were in the house I shut the front door and then opened the gunsafe door that was behind the open front door and returned to my easy chair. Sure got a lot of funny looks.

[steveincowtown]

Love it....

My favorite had always been the father who tossed me a bullet as I was picking up his daughter for a date. I held it my hand and turned around gave him a perplexed look. He then told me...

"Son get a good look at that bullet, because if I catch you with your hands on my daughter the next one is going to be coming a lot quicker."

[Lambda Force]

Great story. I had lots of fun with girls after school before their parents got home from work. They never suspected a thing but what they didn't know didn't hurt me.

[speedsix]

...does that explain your inside knowledge of the Girl Scouts in the other thread???

[Lambda Force]

Girls with overprotective parents were always mild in public and wild in private.

[speedsix]

...I know...my first wife...well, nevermind....

[The Annoyed Man]

My son says that if he has a daughter, when her date comes to pick her up, he's going to be sitting at the coffee table in his boxes, cleaning a 1911. When her date walks into the room, my son's going to tell him, "I've got no problem at all being sent back up to the big house. Now, what time did you say my daughter was going to be home?"

[speedsix]

...ask him if that plan was born of a repentant spirit and a guilty conscience...

[tbrown]

My son says that if he has a daughter, when her date comes to pick her up, he's going to be sitting at the coffee table in his boxes, cleaning a 1911. When her date walks into the room, my son's going to tell him, "I've got no problem at all being sent back up to the big house. Now, what time did you say my daughter was going to be home?"

That sounds like an excellent way to ensure nice young men will have nothing to do with her. On the other hand, dirt bags and gang bangers with no respect for women won't be bothered by the idea her daddy is just like them.

[Jumping Frog]

I have carefully saved this list since my daughter was born.

She is now 15 going on 23 (or so she thinks), so the list has become relevant.

"Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter"

• Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
• Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
• Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, In order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
• Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
• Rule Five: In order for us to get to know each other, we could talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."
• Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
• Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like change the oil in my car?
• Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks’ homes are better.
• Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a pot-bellied, balding, middle-aged, dim-witted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your pathetic little universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
• Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a Vietnamese main battle tank through a rice paddy near Khe Sanh. When my PTSD starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car. There is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

[Carry-a-Kimber]

The first time I met my wife's dad, he was sitting in his easy chair cleaning a rifle. He looked up from his work and our eyes met, so I asked him "What caliber is your 1873 Winchester?" ... ..we became fast friends. I would later learn that it was not meant as a threat as he spends EVERY evening cleaning and tweaking his collection.

[4copas]

My son says that if he has a daughter, when her date comes to pick her up, he's going to be sitting at the coffee table in his boxes, cleaning a 1911. When her date walks into the room, my son's going to tell him, "I've got no problem at all being sent back up to the big house. Now, what time did you say my daughter was going to be home?"

Father of two daughters- TAM- if you haven't already, tell your son he is spot on. When those days came for me, there were always 2 shotguns hanging over the fireplace. These were surrounded by a bookcase filled with pictures of my girls and myself posing over various game taken together or by them on their own. Deer, elk, turkey, pigs, dove, whatever met the bad end of the gun. ALWAYS a gun being cleaned on the coffee table along with sharpening stone and a few knives. We are a pretty tight family with no trust issues, but still the thought of a boys arm around your baby

My girls laughed at me, but they knew I was serious and also how much I loved them. They actually got a kick out of it and looked forward to the whole thing each time. Wife would just roll her eyes, but inside was loving it.

So far we have one son in law who by the request of my daughter needed my permission to marry her
I think daughter number two will be the same. Thanks to the OP, I have something new to use with number two.

God bless the boy that wants to date my grand daughter