How to convince husband to carry

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WildBill
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Re: How to convince husband to carry

#16

Post by WildBill »

SassedandLoaded wrote:MEN!
What is the best way to get through to him? Should I just give up and accept that I need to be aware and prepared for the both of us?
Speaking from a man's point of view, some of us, when we feel we are being pushed, dig in our heels and push back even harder.

I have heard [from friends] that some women sometimes do the same. :mrgreen:
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aaangel
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Re: How to convince husband to carry

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jmra
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Re: How to convince husband to carry

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aaangel wrote:
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Life is tough, but it's tougher when you're stupid.
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Middle Age Russ
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Re: How to convince husband to carry

#19

Post by Middle Age Russ »

Folks have already posted a number of good thoughts on this issue. Decisions to own firearms, attain a license to carry, train to a certain level of ability, and carry regularly are all individual steps in a long-term process for some folks. The only suggestions I can offer, partially repeating what others have said, is: Be supportive of anything related -- shooting, unarmed and non-firearms related self-defense and/or martial arts, firearms self-defense training, purchasing hardware (guns, holsters, belts, etc.... Also, if you have adopted a mindset of awareness, occasionally pointing out risks you notice in the environment around you and how you, or better yet the two of you acting as a team, could address a given threat in that environment. I take great comfort that my wife carries daily out of habit for her own protection when I am not around, and that she has my six when we are together. As with many other things we do and have done over the years, shooting/training/carrying are activities we both value for personal reasons as well as the time and experiences we share while learning, training and getting a little trigger-press therapy.
Russ
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jmra
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Re: How to convince husband to carry

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Post by jmra »

Tell him you think a man carrying a gun is sexy. :biggrinjester:
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GeekwithaGun
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Re: How to convince husband to carry

#21

Post by GeekwithaGun »

To protect his family.

http://www.artofmanliness.com/2014/04/2 ... odern-age/

ETA: it could be argued that this is not a perfect comparison, but does he only wear a seatbelt when he KNOWS he will be in an accident?

I'm sorry, but if you go through the hoops to get a CHL then why wouldn't you carry whenever you can?
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Re: How to convince husband to carry

#22

Post by surprise_i'm_armed »

OP:

Can you at least get him to go to the range with you and shoot your handgun?

In case you were both out together at the time of a self-defense situation, it
would be advantageous to both of you that he be familiar with your handgun's
manual of arms in case you were unable to shoot it yourself (God forbid).

I'm at a loss to understand why anyone would get a CHL and then not carry AT ALL.

I carry every place that's legal, plus I always have 2 pistols onbody and a wheelgun
in my seatbelt holster. Texas trusts me with handguns, so why not have 3 of them on tap?

It appears that your groom is very set in his ways. Good luck on changing his attitude.

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Re: How to convince husband to carry

#23

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You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.

You can, however, beat it. :deadhorse:
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Re: How to convince husband to carry

#24

Post by Pawpaw »

Don't try to convince him. That will only cause stress in your marriage.

Instead, be kind and let him know you understand. It's okay because you will be carrying and you're willing to protect him. :evil2:

In all seriousness, some subtle variation of that is more likely to get results.
Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence. - John Adams
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The Annoyed Man
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Re: How to convince husband to carry

#25

Post by The Annoyed Man »

SassedandLoaded wrote:I have tried to convince him to carry, to be more aware of his surroundings, to lock doors, etc etc. His response is always "I don't need to carry it, I feel safe." :???:
I have two basic responses to this.....

First, carrying the gun isn't what makes me feel safe. I feel safe because I avoid places where I will NOT be safe. I feel safe because I try to be courteous to those I encounter, and hope that it will be returned to me. I feel safe because I actively avoid trouble. I carry a gun for those times when trouble finds me despite my best efforts to avoid it. But it's not like I sit around all the time worrying about my own safety. As others have said here many times, guess right, or carry 24/7.

I carry a pistol for the same reason that there's a fire extinguisher in my kitchen. I'm not worried that my kitchen will suddenly and inexplicably burst into flames; BUT, I am cognizant that grease and/or electrical fires do sometimes happen in kitchens, and so, as a rational person who does not live in denial, I have prepared for that possibility by purchasing a fire-extinguisher and keeping it under the kitchen sink. IF I HAD TO CARRY MY KITCHEN WITH ME EVERYWHERE I GO, the fire-extinguisher would go with me. It's just called being prepared for reality.

Second, it may be an issue of perceived masculinity for your husband. Maybe he thinks that it is just fine for the ladies to carry a discreet piece, but that "real men" don't need one. Of course, need is not determined by gender. Back in California, an old girlfriend of mine AND her boyfriend were both raped at gunpoint by the same escaped convict. The boyfriend's masculinity had nothing to do with it. And.... They were out for an evening stroll in the very upperclass and generally regarded as safe neighborhood she lived in.

Fundamentally, there is only one way for his mind to be changed, and that is to find himself in a situation where he wished he had his gun with him, and didn't have it......and to be so badly scared by the realization of potential outcomes that he changes his mind about carrying. If he survives......

My guess is that nothing you can say will change his mind. He just needs to experience for himself that the world is not as safe as he thinks it is, and that reality absolutely does not care what he feels.
“Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. And, weak men create hard times.”

― G. Michael Hopf, "Those Who Remain"

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nightmare
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Re: How to convince husband to carry

#26

Post by nightmare »

Pawpaw wrote:Don't try to convince him. That will only cause stress in your marriage.
:iagree: Guilt trips and similar manipulation may get your way in the short term but is it worth the long term price?
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Re: How to convince husband to carry

#27

Post by howdy »

Talk to any first responder about how "safe" our living conditions are. I too very seldom carried until I started with EMS. Talk to any LEO, Firefighter or Paramedic and they will tell you about your local area. It is a jungle out there.
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