I thought some might relate to this

[baldeagle]

I received this from a Marine friend. I thought at least some of y'all could relate to it, at least on an intellectual level if not experiential. Andy, I know this will ring true for you.

My Mistress
by Sean Moore

I will always think of her.

Sometimes fondly.

And sometimes with disgust and hate.

When I wake up holding onto my wife,

I think of her.

In the quiet hours when I’m alone,

it is her I am with.

She is always on my mind.

She is all I think about.

I miss her,

and the way she smelled.

When we were together

I hardly slept.

She would keep me up all night.

And now, more with every passing day,

it is during the darkest hours of the night

that I lay awake thinking

of the time we spent together.


Her hate kept me warm

when I was cold.

Her rage fueled me,

drove me,

and drove me crazy.

Her screams still haunt me,

something to never be unheard.

She made me a man.

She took

what innocent and childish ways

that I had,

and replaced them with a lust

and desire for the forbidden.

I still want her.

I still need her.

Nearly a decade after our first encounter,

I still feel her presence

everywhere.

With her,

I felt as though I was exactly who

I was supposed to be.

I always knew what I had to do.

And life was simple.

Not easy, but simple.

And then it was over.

I knew I would never see her again

but I could never have expected

how lonely I would be

without her.

In nearly every room of my house

there is some sort of memento

to remind me of her.

My body carries scars and tattoos for her.

I close my eyes and I see her.

When I sit in silence

I hear her screams.

I want her.

Always.

I need her.

Never again.

She was my mistress,

and will be always.

My mistress, War…



Being human is…

by Sean Moore

_______ exhausting.

For all of my waking moments,

sans the precious ones with my wife,

I pretend.



I pretend to be interested,

and to have emotions.

I pretend to care

about the little things.

I pretend that,

while at the grocery store,

I’m shopping

when I feel like I’m hunting.



I have to pretend

that sad things are sad.

And things that make other people happy

also make me happy.



I have to pretend

to be ignorant.

Not so much about intelligence

(although I do),

but about the real world.

Very few people have experienced

or inhabit the real world.



Most people live in the illusion

of safety and comfort.

But I know better.

I know that we are all animals.

And we break down

into two categories:

Hunters and Prey.



I know without a doubt

what I am

although I will continue to pretend

to be domesticated.



What are you?




Just a Ghost

by Sean Moore


Sitting at Panera

waiting for my order,

I know there isn’t a person here

that can actually relate to me.

And I am OK with that.



They see

but do not see.

They hear

but do not listen.



They exist

on a different plain than I.

I am a ghost

that only passes into their world

when I want to.



I have become an expert

at being no one to notice.

But I notice everything.



I see

what is not in plain sight.

I hear meaning,

not words.


Always the hunter.

Never noticed.

Always watching.


About The Author

Sean Moore served with Third Battalion Fifth Marines India Company from 2003 to 2007. He did two tours in Iraq as a Mortarman and Infantryman. He did the Fallujah Experience in 2004-2005, and then security and stabilization operations back in the Anbar Provence in 2006.

[tomdavis]

I was not a Marine but I feel his pain and pride. I hope someone tells him we are grateful for what he gave and that he is not alone.