I Am So Tired Of.....

[StewNTexas]

Scheming crooks and phony schemes that some people try to pull on people that have had a loss.

I lost my wife of 33 years on July 16th, and there is not a week that goes by that I don't get three or four 'invoices' for things people are claiming that she ordered. Most by mail, some by phone.

The thing that set me off on this rant was earlier today when I got a phone call that did not show the actual number, but said 'Russia'.

For the last 30 days, anything addressed directly to her gets the following note on the envelope, "Return to Sender, Addressee Deceased". So far, I have had no problems, but I do expect some in the future. I am relatively sure there have been a few letters that were legitimate, but only time will tell. I have gotten close to agreeing to meet someone to give them the payment they want, but I am afraid what I would do face to face.

There are rats out there that read all death notices, review many municipal and state records to see if they can find a sucker that will pay them some money. Get lots of crap on the phone such as 'This is something she really wanted, why not give it to her?' What I really want to give someone is a ball bat to their hands so they cannot use a computer for a while.

OK, rant off, just had to relieve some stress after a long day....

[cb1000rider]

I had no idea that happened, wow... There is no bottom.
Sorry you're going through that, but thanks for sharing.

[ajwakeboarder]

I am very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what it must be like to lose a loved one and then have someone try something like that.

[jimlongley]

I went through the same thing 21 years ago when my first wife passed. I still get mail addressed to her in a state she never lived in, at an address she never lived at, thankfully not very often anymore.

[Jumping Frog]

I am so sorry for your loss.

Thank you for the head's up. I am also going to warn my wife (who can be financially gullible) to pay nothing except our mortgage and government taxes if I die before her.

Thankfully, we are debt-free except the mortgage (thank you Dave Ramsey!), so it would be more difficult for someone to convince her otherwise.

[StewNTexas]

Thanks for your replies, it means a lot to me.

We were also debt free, except for one car payment with no interest charged. Would have paid it off, but I get to use their money for free, getting a tiny bit of interest by keeping it in a credit union.

The only bills should be from standard monthly recurring charges such as water, cable, phone. That makes the phony items stick out a lot more.

[Abraham]

StewNTexas,

I'm sorry you lost your wife. It's got to be a crushing blow.

Your rant is justified.

I had no idea this kind of scam existed.

I'll inform others.

Thanks!

[RPBrown]

So sorry for your loss. I had heard of these types of scams and warned my Dad, brother and sister (we all take care of my dad and his finances) and sure enough, about a year after my mother passed, he got a letter saying she owed for something she had bought on line. Since dad was also completely debt free we knew this was a scam and called the PD about it. They said not much they could do unless the scammers were local but to send it to them anyway and they would send it to the proper authorities.

[anygunanywhere]

Stew, please accept my sorrow for you and your loss. It is unfortunate that you are having to deal with this issue. I pray that you will find peace in your faith.

Anygunanywhere

[LDB415]

I'm sorry for your loss. I won't say what I wish on those con artists as it's pretty awful and this should be a forum friendly to anyone in a family. There's nothing wrong with venting when you need to.

[baldeagle]

I am so sorry for your loss. We have been married 42 years. I have some idea how difficult it would be to live without her, although I'm certain the reality is even more difficult. To be pounded over and over again with the reminder of her passing, along with the realization that these are people who are trying to take advantage of her death at your expense has to be infuriating, frustrating and depressing all at the same time.

The world is an evil place. May God someone find comfort for you amongst the evil.

[TomsTXCHL]

Sorry Stew for your loss.

Do we know if there is a "primary" way that scammers obtain this information, e.g. Obituaries published in newspapers?

I know there are other ways to obtain death notices but what are the "easy" ones?

I'll admit that while I do read the newspaper obits regularly, I would not want such a thing published for either myself or for my wife. No need--the people we care about will find out in many better ways...

[android]

Very old scam. They used the obituaries in the newspaper.

Used to be very common to be a family Bible the deceased ordered. They would emboss the name on it, claim a deposit had already been paid, and then try to get the relatives to make the final payment.

[jimlongley]

As an addendum, after my wife of 23 years passed, I started receiving stuff I hadn't ordered also, but fully paid for. It seems that while she was sick she would sit and watch TV and would just order stuff that tickled her fancy. One of the most interesting thing was a five year subscription to Playboy, fully paid for on her debit card. I tried to get it canceled, but because I wasn't her, they wouldn't let me cancel it, even though I was executor, etc, etc.

I let it expire when the time came.

But there was a whole bunch of "As Seen On TV" junk and Home Shopping Network things, which made it a challenge to tell what was a scam and what wasn't.

[n5wd]

StewNTexas,

My condolences on your loss. I joined the widower's club April before last when Pamela, my wife of 42 years, succumbed to the effects of uterine cancer. Sorry to hear that you're a new member. It sucks.

In talking with a couple of folks who had gone through the death of a spouse, I became convinced that the bogus claims came about not from the death notice or obit in the newspaper, where common names or nicknames are often used, but in the classified ad that is often posted by the attorneys in the legal paper in your county, which basically says "anyone that has a claim has to make it in the next 30 days or you're never going to get paid". Our attorney followed the probate law, but apparently did it in a way that did not draw any attention to the ad, since I managed to escape all the frivolous claims on my wife's estate except for one which was obviously a fishing exploration on the part of the claimant.

I can only imagine how getting one of those must feel -like opening up the wounds, again, each time. Hopefully you'll be spared that hassle in the near future.

Again, sorry for your loss.

Wayne