Thought this was funny

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howdy
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Thought this was funny

#1

Post by howdy »

AN OLD WOMAN WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCHING POST.
AS SHE STOOD THERE, BRUSHING SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON WITH A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER. THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER LOOKED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND LAUGHED, "HEY OLD WOMAN, HAVE YOU EVER DANCED?"

THE OLD WOMAN LOOKED UP AT THE GUNSLINGER AND SAID, "NO,... I NEVER DID DANCE... NEVER REALLY WANTED TO."

A CROWD HAD GATHERED AS THE GUNSLINGER GRINNED AND SAID "WELL, YOU OLD BAG, YOU'RE GONNA DANCE NOW," AND STARTED SHOOTING AT THE OLD WOMAN'S FEET.

THE OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR -- NOT WANTING TO GET HER TOE BLOWN OFF --STARTED HOPPING AROUND. EVERYBODY WAS LAUGHING. WHEN HIS LAST BULLET HAD BEEN FIRED, THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER, STILL LAUGHING, HOLSTERED HIS GUN AND TURNED AROUND TO GO BACK INTO THE SALOON.

THE OLD WOMAN TURNED TO HER PACK MULE, PULLED OUT A DOUBLE-BARRELED SHOTGUN, AND COCKED BOTH HAMMERS.
THE LOUD CLICKS CARRIED CLEARLY THROUGH THE DESERT AIR, AND THE CROWD STOPPED LAUGHING IMMEDIATELY.

THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER HEARD THE SOUNDS, TOO, AND HE TURNED AROUND VERY SLOWLY. THE SILENCE WAS ALMOST DEAFENING. THE CROWD WATCHED AS THE YOUNG GUNMAN STARED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND THE LARGE GAPING HOLES OF THOSE TWIN BARRELS.

THE BARRELS OF THE SHOTGUN NEVER WAVERED IN THE OLD WOMAN'S HANDS, AS SHE QUIETLY SAID, "SON, HAVE YOU EVER KISSED A MULE'S rear?
THE GUNSLINGER SWALLOWED HARD AND SAID, "NO M'AM... BUT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO.

THERE ARE FIVE LESSONS HERE FOR ALL OF US:

1 - Never be arrogant.
2 - Don't waste ammunition.
3 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.
4 - Always make sure you know who has the power.
5 - Don't mess with old people; they didn't get old by being stupid.
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RoyGBiv
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Re: Thought this was funny

#2

Post by RoyGBiv »

Now, that was pretty funny... But the part that made me laugh out loud was that "rear" was the only word not spelled with capital letters..
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pushpullpete
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Re: Thought this was funny

#3

Post by pushpullpete »

:iagree:
Hahaha, me thinks it said something other than rear.
Good joke tho.
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carlson1
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Re: Thought this was funny

#4

Post by carlson1 »

I love it. :smilelol5:
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RPBrown
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Re: Thought this was funny

#5

Post by RPBrown »

:iagree:
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JustSomeOldGuy
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Re: Thought this was funny

#6

Post by JustSomeOldGuy »

6) never shoot your gun empty without immediately reloading (or having a BUG)
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Abraham
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Re: Thought this was funny

#7

Post by Abraham »

...and stop posting with all capital letters.

I couldn't read it because all caps hurts my eyes.

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howdy
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Re: Thought this was funny

#8

Post by howdy »

You are correct about the word "rear". It would not pass muster with the original word. Sorry about the capital letters. I just copy and paste.
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Grundy1133
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Re: Thought this was funny

#9

Post by Grundy1133 »

howdy wrote:You are correct about the word "rear". It would not pass muster with the original word. Sorry about the capital letters. I just copy and paste.
but the original word is just the name of an animal....
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