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CC Italian wrote:Long post to follow.
lets see
-low recoil
-pocket carry capable
- carry iwb or carry owb

So this is what you are looking for. A do it all gun. You say you have no problem with a 380? Just know that lower recoil standard pressure 9mm is leaps and bounds ahead of any 380 round.

Well first off if you can I would personally try to stay with 38 special or better in snub or 9mm in semi. But if you have owned a snub you know recoil comes with it. Even my 38 snubnose Smith with 38 special hornady critical defense non + p has more recoil then my s&w shield with 124 + P.

So for this reason I am going to assume no snubnose.

In 9mm you have many choices that are pocket carry capable. Here is a list of the ones off the top of my head.
-Beretta Nano
-Boberg XR9-S Pistol
-Diamondback DB9
-Kahr cm9
- kel tec pf9 and p11
-sig 938
-Kimber solo

There are other 9mms that you can pocket carry but I personally think guns like the LC9, shield, xds, Bersa BPcc, Walther PPS, sig 290 are all either a little two big or a few ounces to heavy when loaded to be comfortable as a pocket carry. Out of the ones I listed for pocket carry I would personally look at the Nano, Kahr and sig 938. For something more deadicated to iwb I would reccomend Shield, xds, Walther pps.

These are just my opinions and I am sure others will give you thiers. Also, I have shot most of these so if there is a specific question about one fire away. If 380acp is the way you want to go then there is a never ending list of options.