Search found 10 matches

by lonewolf
Sat Oct 10, 2009 11:22 am
Forum: New to CHL?
Topic: Help with wife
Replies: 89
Views: 46003

Re: Help with wife

We are all guilty of jumping into things sometimes without considering all the consequences/aspects. If I lived alone, having a CHL would be a totally personal decision, without regard to anyone else's consideration. Since I am happily married, and intend to stay that way, it was important that this be worked out with the wife as much as possible beforehand. In addition, my aging father lives with us, and my children are here every other weekend. Lots of things to consider.

So far, so good. Now I just strap it on and don't make an issue of doing so with the wife. She trusts my judgement as to when and where, asks me about it sometimes, and we get on down the road.
by lonewolf
Sat Oct 10, 2009 9:29 am
Forum: New to CHL?
Topic: Help with wife
Replies: 89
Views: 46003

Re: Help with wife

Very interesting take on it, Hammer.....I clearly see the point you are making, but must (respectfully, of course,) differ on some things. It appears from your post that the Dear Wife was not fully on board prior to the CHL process. I, too, had Wife Issues when I first proposed the idea. She was OK having guns in the house by then and this was the next logical step. All discussion happened prior to the event. Now that the plastic is here there is only clarification/reinforcement of safety and such.

Try to get everything out in the open prior to getting the CHL. It really helps.

My wife is the one that loses her keys, her cell phone and such. I think she was transferring the concern along those lines to me.

Another issue. No one gets to keep my license until they think I am ready for it. My wife is not a really good driver, but she has her license, authorized by the state to operate a motor vehicle, and I don't try to hold that until I think she is ready to drive.

I am not being confrontational here, but my carrying around the house all the time while waiting was a good thing. Carrying under MPA in the car prior to plastic was a good thing. Doing all the things I could to get her comfortable before the big day really helped. She still has some questions/concerns now and then, but all the potential big issues were behind us before the day the plastic got here.

Although she thought I was being ridiculous concerning the Wally Walk, she said it was funny in a weird sort of way, and sent me on my way. Even suggested I take the kids to document the event on the camera.

It'll all work out, I'm just glad I did the hard part (concerning her) prior to getting the process started.
by lonewolf
Thu Oct 08, 2009 9:36 am
Forum: New to CHL?
Topic: Help with wife
Replies: 89
Views: 46003

Re: Help with wife

I'm still too nerdy....
by lonewolf
Tue Oct 06, 2009 6:37 pm
Forum: New to CHL?
Topic: Help with wife
Replies: 89
Views: 46003

Re: Help with wife

Now that I finally have my CHL, the wife has asked my why I take "that thing" with me everywhere we go. I said because I can. I told her that we spoke about this at length when I applied, and discussed the reasons in great detail. Now that its here, she is a little unnerved. Perfectly understandable. I carry and don't tell her. She gave me the stink eye once when she wanted to go pick up the mail at her PO box late in the evening and I buckled up. (I didn't go inside, just waited in the car). I told her that she could go by herself if she wanted to go that badly. I simply let her know that the reason she likes me to go with her to get gas, the mail, and little store runs is not necessarily to spend time with me, but to have me around because the world is a dangerous place. She wouldn't go alone to those places before I was armed. I told her that the only difference is that I am now better prepared to protect us both should the need arise. It's not like I'm going to be hunkered down in the back of the car, peeking out the windows for the BG with the gun in my hand, finger on the trigger.

Its truly a process for a lot of people. Try to make it a part of your life and not an issue. My weapon is concealed when I am at home just as though I were out to dinner.

Good luck!
by lonewolf
Fri Aug 28, 2009 1:53 pm
Forum: New to CHL?
Topic: Help with wife
Replies: 89
Views: 46003

Re: Help with wife

I guess Betty would work better. I would much rather my wife ask me if I have another woman than another man........ :shock: (Just my personal preference)

I can hear it now.....
"Is Betty nearby?" "Are you with Betty?" "Is Betty around?" "You spend more time with Betty than with me....!" :totap:
by lonewolf
Tue Aug 25, 2009 9:15 am
Forum: New to CHL?
Topic: Help with wife
Replies: 89
Views: 46003

Re: Help with wife

I'll have to think up a name for the Beretta....Perhaps "Barry"...... :mrgreen:
by lonewolf
Tue Aug 18, 2009 10:02 am
Forum: New to CHL?
Topic: Help with wife
Replies: 89
Views: 46003

Re: Help with wife

IGNORE THE WIFE?????!!!!! :nono: "rlol" Good luck with that.......... :shock:

Please feel free to let us know how that works out for you. If you can...... :lol:

It took a lot of time and patience for me to get my wife to understand what I was doing, then some more for her to support it. We had occassions to meet like-minded people, folks she respects, that she never suspected were 2A supporters and she began to see the light. She no longer jumps out of her skin at the mention of a gun, or the fact that there is always one near me when at home. I didn't flood her with news stories and such, but did point out a few home invasions and such now and then. She is more aware of her surroundings than ever, and has asked me several times when we have been out if I am prepared should it be needed.

My two cents, if worth that much is to give it some time. Tell her you can't bear the thought of some bad guy coming between you two. You love her too much for that. You'll defend her any way you can. The gun scares her, not you. The only gun that should ever scare her should not be in your hands. She'll learn that with time and patience. Hopefully.

Anyhow, best of luck in your current situation, and I sincerely hope everything works out for the both of you. :patriot: :txflag:
by lonewolf
Thu Aug 13, 2009 7:09 pm
Forum: New to CHL?
Topic: Help with wife
Replies: 89
Views: 46003

Re: Help with wife

I still have some of the 20mm shells from my Navy years. To show her the difference in what I shot then and now own, I fit a couple of shotgun shells into one of them and put a pile of 9mm in another. Neat!
by lonewolf
Thu Aug 13, 2009 8:41 am
Forum: New to CHL?
Topic: Help with wife
Replies: 89
Views: 46003

Re: Help with wife

It was all I could do not to laugh my rear off.....since we were out in the country, we didn't have any hearing protection so we didn't shoot but a few rounds. I think it was the sound as much as anything that scared her. A few weeks later we went to the range and she put two whole magazines through it. Quite a gal, my wife. Now every time she sees the gun, she asks if its loaded. I told her to presume its always loaded, whether or not it is. Safety first.

On a side note, she is actually the one that mentioned getting a gun a year or so ago. At the same time the economy was tanking, there were lots of home invasions and such making the news. She asked if we should get a gun. My response was, "lets go shopping!" That was when the Beretta joined our family. Shortly after that came the Mossberg. My father had some major health issues and moved in with us, donating his ancient Colt .38 Police Positive Special. Now the family is very well filled out.

As far as being an archeologist, I've probably searched through most every page of every forum on here over the last few months. Very good stuff here. Kind of voyeuristic, I suppose, but its been very enlightening. It's been most interesting to see the wife's turnaround from her liberal, northern upbringing and education to a more realistic point of view. My next task will be to work with the sister and brother in law when we are up in Kansas visiting. My wife, bless her little heart, told them I am applying for my CHL while we were visiting them a couple of weeks ago. They weren't shocked, but weren't pleased, either.
by lonewolf
Wed Aug 12, 2009 8:30 pm
Forum: New to CHL?
Topic: Help with wife
Replies: 89
Views: 46003

Re: Help with wife

Before agreeing to marry me, my current spouse asked roughly 85 million questions. Some were repeated, I think, just to see if my answers changed. That being said, there was nothing in there about firearms. I never thought to bring it up, because it was never an issue for me. I have had guns for years. I had found during my separtion/divorce from my first wife, however, that it wasn't practical. I sold them to pay some bills she had accrued. When I told my wife I wanted to buy a gun (6 years ago), she didn't want "that thing" in our house. That has been resolved with patience.

Oops, my bad...I forgot I had an old .22 single shot bolt action rifle. She knew about that one, but I had no ammo, and she made me keep the bolt out of it and stored somewhere else. I almost forgot where I put it at one point.

Anyhow, back to the topic...we met with an uncle of mine that has more guns than there are bricks in my home :lol: and we wanted to go out and do some shooting. She shot one round of 9mm. The bullet went that-a-way, and she jumped up and held the gun out to the side, still pointing downrange, as I had instructed her, and said "Take this thing away from me!" These days she is much better and understands much more. MUCH more. Now there are 4 guns. The old .22, an old .38 Colt Police Positive Special, a Mossberg 500 shotgun and a Beretta 92G Centaurian. I have taken both my sons to the range and had them clean them all afterwards. The wife has shot more as well. The Beretta stays in the nightstand (open front type) right next to me. I won't say where the others are, but they are all accessible in need. They are secured when the kids are here.

Now I have applied for my CHL. Now when we are going out, and she is concerned about our safety, she asks if my friend is coming along for the ride. Since I don't have my CHL yet, it is in the glovebox.

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