Texan Jokes to pass the time here at home

[Mel]

Difference between a normal pilot and an Aggie pilot: A normal pilot breaks ground and turns into the wind!

[Mel]

Three Aggies died and went to Heaven. St Peter met them at the Golden Gate and informed them that one must pass a test to gain entry. "Normally the test is one question per person, but since you are Aggies, I will give you all the same question. Tell me everything you know about Easter!"
First Aggie says, "That's easy. Easter is when all the children dress up like ghosts and go house to house yelling "Trick or treat".
"No, that's wrong" says St. Peter.
Second Aggie says, "He never was too smart. I can tell you about Easter. Easter is when you put up and decorate the Easter Tree and go house to house singing Easter Carols."
"No, that's not it either. You have one more try."
Then the third Aggie steps up and states, "Easter is about when Christ died and was buried in a tomb covered by large stones."
St.Peter says, "OK so far, Go on!"
"And three days later the stones rolled away and Jesus came out and saw his shadow. Frightened, he ran back into the tomb and we had 6 more weeks of winter!"

[The Annoyed Man]

No Texan joke column would be complete without "Aggie Jokes". And, Yes, I'm an Aggie!
Two Aggies went to Dallas to see the Adult movies they had been hearing about. When they got there, there was a big sign that said, "Under 18 not admitted." So they had to return home to get 16 friends.

In the 1970s, they didn’t need to go to Dallas....they went to the Campus Theater at Boyett and University Drive as I recall, where they showed adult movies on either Friday or Saturday nights (I don’t remember which) .... or [ahem!] so I’ve heard.....

[jason812]

Great Aggie inventions:

Screen door for a submarine.

Ejection seat on a helicopter.

Inflatable dart board.

Powdered water, just add water.

[The Annoyed Man]

There was an Aggie walking down the sidewalk with a pig under his arm, and this other old boy comes up and says, "Hey, where’d you get that?"

The pig answered, "I won him in a raffle."

Then there was the Aggie joke about Hewgee Pippalinee, but it’s not repeatable on these pages....

[Mel]

Then there was the Aggie joke about Hewgee Pippalinee, but it’s not repeatable on these pages....

Yep, I remember that one!

[surprise_i'm_armed]

Q. Did you hear about the Texas Aggie girl that was pregnant and worried?

A. She was afraid it wasn't hers!

A DPS trooper in East Texas stopped a teenager for speeding.
Trooper: Do you have any ID?
Teenager: 'bout what trooper?

Did you know that the 3 Wise Men that visited baby Jesus were actually 3 East Texas firefighters coming home from work?
Oh yes....it says right there in the story "The 3 Wise Men came from a fahr!"

SIA

[Mel]

For those who have owned a British car: Did you hear that Lucas has come out with a new product?
It's a vacuum cleaner. Only Lucas product ever that doesn't suck!

[Mel]

Of course you are familiar with the Lucas headlight switch. It has 3 positions; Flicker, Dim and Off.

[Mel]

Then there were the 2 City of Dallas maintenance workers who went out to work and forgot to take their shovels. They called in to ask the supervisor what to do. The supervisor said, "Let me get this straight. You both got to the job site and you both forgot your shovels. Right?" "Yes."
After some thought the supervisor told them, "Well, just lean on each other!"

[The Annoyed Man]

Of course you are familiar with the Lucas headlight switch. It has 3 positions; Flicker, Dim and Off.

In the motorcycling world, he was known as Lucas, Prince of Darkness.