TexasCHLforum.com

Back when I was a night shift patrolman and had to sleep during the day, I always was eager to welcome door-to-door salesmen into my home when they rang the bell in defiance of my "No Soliciting" sign. I'd let them start their little speech, and after a minute or two I'd excuse myself to walk over to the stand beside the front door, get my ticket book, and proceed to write them a citation for not having a peddler's permit from the city of Greenville (they almost never bothered to go to city hall and pay their 15 bucks).

Nowadays I don't have that recourse. So tonight after the frozen steak salesman showed up for the third time in two months and knocked on the door, I posted the following notice on the front door:

No Soliciting

Do not knock on this door unless you have been invited to come here by one of the residents.

If you have not already heard the barking, you will surely hear a deafening amount of it if you ignore this sign and knock on the door or ring the doorbell.

The hungry pack that is the source of all that barking consumes a large amount of dog food each day, therefore we have no money to buy your magazines or other goods, give to your charity, or donate to your religion or cult.

Don't knock on the door or ring the doorbell, and we will not be tempted to save on dog food by feeding our pack with your appendages.

I was also notorious for writing citations to ice cream salesmen for noise disturbances. I was an absolute hero to night shift workers of every stripe in our neighborhood.

WOW!!! This is just unbelievable. I JUST had this happen to me and I about went through the roof. I had recently purchased one of those ugly looking no soliciting signs because I was tired of answering the ringing doorbell. Anyway, After much protest by my wife (she wants to remain silent like scared children in the house waiting for the person to leave), I got the "no soliciting" sign and installed it.

Today our roofer came out and redid our roof, so I was not shocked when I heard a doorbell ring. I had never met the main person, so when I looked through my newly installed peephole and saw a person that looked like he would be the "management" for the roofers, I undid the door bar and opened the door (silly me, I had left my gun in the other room as I had recently changed into my at the house clothes). Anyway, this kid goes right into some thing about how they are giving away free electronic monitoring (like ADT).

As he is yacking away, I am sitting there stunned by what I am witnessing and trying to resist the urge to use language that would get me thrown off of this board as well as activity that would get me put in jail. He says "so we are going to have some other people stop by blah blah blah". I stop him and ask "1) why should I trust a company to monitor my house when their representative doesnt even notice the large "no soliciting" sign next to the doorbell and 2) I am assuming that the sales people would have seen that to". He stops me and lets me know that he "isnt selling anything". I then tell him to get some glasses because the sign says no soliciting, not no selling.

this kid then asks me if my phone line is wired into my monitoring service.

I tell him that I am not interested and it would be very wise to get off of my property. HE looks at me with a stunned look (like I have just offended him) and walks away.

I just dont get people.....

.

The ones that bother me are the door hanger guys they all look like they just got out of prison or belong to a street gang. They walk up to your door to hang a advertisement and it one takes a bit to see if door is locked and is easily explained away if confronted. My stupid HOA forbids signs that can be seen from the street. I need to find a knob-less entry system so I can remove my door knob.

My favorite is the Verizon sales crew that comes every week to get us to subscribe to VIOS. The problem is, we do, at least until the next idiot comes and then I will cancel.

suthdj wrote: I need to find a knob-less entry system so I can remove my door knob.

now THATS a good idea ! how about no door, just a secret panel

How about hooking a fence charger to the knob? And post the video on youtube.

boomerang wrote:How about hooking a fence charger to the knob? And post the video on youtube.

i was thinking along those lines also ,i just didnt want to say it out loud

Just run 1 wire to the doorbell and 1 wire to the plate around the button and tuck the wires behind the plate. Then put a small hand written note that says " I dare ya".

NO SOLICITING!!
SURVIVORS WILL BE PROSCUTED

The last time a solictor showed up here, besides the fact that my dogs already had him backing away from the door, I opened the door in a terrycloth wrap I wear around the house at times, with a .45 on my hip.

Fat old ugly white guy with a .45 in Kydex, almost naked otherwise, I was surprised he didn't call the police on me.

I'm dialing my therapist now...

jimlongley wrote:NO SOLICITING!!
SURVIVORS WILL BE PROSCUTED

Misspellings work best if they're spray-painted directly on the siding, or on a mattress baling-wired to the front porch rail.

I did find the front porch empty after somebody rang the bell as I was finishing reassembly of a Norinco pump shotgun. I guess the function check indicated that I was busy.

There's an idea. Make the door 'bell' sound, a prerecorded shotgun pump!

Has it occurred to anyone that a significant portion of the population thinks the word soliciting or solicitation refers only to the world's oldest profession and doesn't apply to what they are doing/attempting to do?