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My roommates were moving out and Jackie's dad was planned to come w/ a truck the night before to help move. He surprised us both when he announced last minute he was in route w/ her brother, a convicted felon. Neither of us were happy about this. He has been around before due to the family factor but he's bad news all around.

I was alerted to his arrival last minute via IM at work. I told my roommate to hide any gun related paraphernalia that might be lingering around the living room before they showed up. Obviously my actual guns were put up but I had a holster and some spare mags lying around.

I leave work early after hearing he's coming as I don't want him around my place w/o me around. Well, really didn't want him around at all but there wasn't much to be done at that point.

When I get home he's rolling a joint on the kitchen table. He was nice enough to ask if I wanted to partake, I suppose.

Later that night I hear him on the phone telling his girlfriend how to load a shotgun.... at 8pm at night. I didn't ask why. I just told myself she was on some trivia show and he was the life line. The rommie & dad tell him he's stupid for having guns giving his situation and he shrugs it off.

We get to bed for an early rise. I make sure to lock my bedroom door and double check my bedside HD shotgun is ready. After an uneventful night we get up and start the loading of the truck. During doughnut breakfast he tries to make small talk by pulling a holstered pistol out of his bag and asking for critiques on his holster.

I'm thinking great, this jerk has a gun in his hand and I didn't think getting armed in my own house should be part of my getting dressed.

He wasn't presenting it in a threatening manner or anything, he really did seem to just be asking questions, but still. It mostly seemed like a "I'm cool b/c I have a gun" show & tell wanting to talk about the situation.

Even though I wanted to say it looked like a horrible piece of junk nylon holster he picked up at a gun show I just said "I dunno, man" to end the conversation so he'd put it away. After he did I pointed out he'd be in serious trouble if he got caught w/ that. He responds "Yeah, well, I'm already in serious trouble, so it don't matta"

I'm glad he's cities away now.

Convicted felon, drugs, guns...can't think of any situation where I would allow this guy anywhere near my place. As soon as I saw the joint the guy would be out on the street.

jmra wrote:Convicted felon, drugs, guns...can't think of any situation where I would allow this guy anywhere near my place. As soon as I saw the joint the guy would be out on the street.

I expected such a response. I chose to not escalate the situation, let it ride, and it worked out.

Edit: This is partly why I posted this under never again.

Man, that situation opens you up to a lot of crap... I don't know how I would have handled it since I'm not a very confrontational person, but I wouldn't have been happy at ALL.

Relative or not, I would tell them in no uncertain terms that he is never allowed in your house or around again. Family matters can be tough, but this is nothing but a problem waiting to happen for you.

Keith B wrote:Relative or not, I would tell them in no uncertain terms that he is never allowed in your house or around again. Family matters can be tough, but this is nothing but a problem waiting to happen for you.

In this situation you have choices and you chose to....

That's something like what the judge will say when you try to explain...whatever you're trying to get out of.

Was it not possible to decline the help once you found out 'the felon' was part of the help?

Or, was it considered the least expensive way to go about the move vs. paying movers?

If that was the case, the cheapest way may very well have proven the most costly...

Had no one informed the father his criminal son was not welcome? Or, would doing so make those responsible for informing him too uncomfortable/fearful to bear...?

Long ago, I was faced with something similar and to be sure it wasn't easy to inform the individual he wasn't welcome, but it was necessary and was done.

atxgun wrote:

jmra wrote:Convicted felon, drugs, guns...can't think of any situation where I would allow this guy anywhere near my place. As soon as I saw the joint the guy would be out on the street.

I expected such a response. I chose to not escalate the situation, let it ride, and it worked out.

Edit: This is partly why I posted this under never again.

Don't let the scumbag into your house in the first place, and there won't be a "situation" to "escalate" in the first place. Sorry if this offends you, but you exercised extremely poor judgement letting him into your house in the first place. People like that don't care who else they drag into their mess.

Abraham wrote:Or, was it considered the least expensive way to go about the move vs. paying movers?

If that was the case, the cheapest way may very well have proven the most costly...

No one committed a crime here except the felon.

I presume discretion is not one of his strong points. Seems to me he needs a little schooling in etiquette.

Let's see, there was a convicted felon, with drugs and a gun in his possession and, you didn't report it to the law? Sounds like there was a good bit of sticking your head in the sand going on.

Be glad the police didn't show up. You all probably would have been cuffed and stuffed and, hauled to jail while they sorted it out downtown.

"Take your drugs, and get out of my house!"

First words out of my mouth if I walk into my house and see someone rolling a joint on my kitchen table.

End of story. Doesn't matter if it should be legal or not. Right now, it's not; and I ain't havin' illegal stuff going on in my house. That simple.

After that, I'd be having a talk with Jackie's dad about bringing her brother over and tell him not to do it anymore. Explain your reasons: 1) he disrespects you by smoking dope in your home without even having the courtesy to ask if it's OK (heck, I wouldn't light a cigarette in somebody else's home without asking first... that's just good manners...); 2) in case Jackie's dad has forgotten, pot is illegal, and bringing an illegal substance into someone's home puts them at some liability; and 3) he's a convicted felon in possession of a firearm who seems to have remarkably poor self-control, and that puts everyone around him at risk.

But that's just me. I love my family, but there would be zero tolerance for any foolishness from any of them inside my house - particularly when we are talking about potential liability and safety issues which can affect me and the rest of my family.

I guess that's makes me a cranky old poop, but that's how I feel about it.

Welllllll TAM I'll be cranky right along with you. A convicted felon...possessing a loaded gun....possessing dope, and having the gall to smoke it in MY house? I'd be saying to the dad "never bring that jerk over here again". Never, ever.

I am going to make a couple assumptions here. For example that since you have room-mates, you are likely younger, in your 20s perhaps, and probably a student at the university? From that perspective, I can see how it would be difficult to immediately give your roomie's brother (I think?) the boot (along with dad, for that matter), especially since you can see that if you can hold out for one night, the problem will remove itself. I see that as understandable, and I am not going to jump all over you for it.

But after you get some crap like this sprung on you once or twice and have a chance to reflect on it, then I think you tend to toughen up a bit, and the next time you run across it you are much more prone to cut it off right at the beginning. This is called "wisdom gained from experience." Luckily it didn't cost you too much to gain the experience this time, and I would not recommend gaining any more such "experience." Next time, at minimum, give'm the boot (or leave). And their friends/room-mates/co-workers/whathaveyou. Friends/room-mates/co-workers/whathaveyouwho expose you to this kind of nonsense are not such great friends/room-mates/co-workers/whathaveyou.

I expect you have also learned a great deal about room-mates that will significantly factor into your decisions about future living arrangements.


Good luck.

General reply to all:

Believe me, although it worked out okay, I wish I handled things differently. A lot of replies seem to say "drugs/guns == out of my house". I would agree with that. To reiterate I didn't know he actually had a gun on him until the following morning.

If I had known he was coming along I would have objected and even offered to pay for professional movers to avoid his presence. Jackie's a good person and doesn't care to have her brother around either. Dad does know this which is why I think it was announced last minute when they were nearly here.

If I had been told "he's coming armed, and has drugs on him" instead of just "he's coming" I would have objected then, instead of thinking I just have to deal with this guy for half a day or so.

Hindsight is 20/20 and this was certainly a lesson learned for the future.

The snowballing results of a known bad seed in the situation is why this is posted in never again.