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What was the context? My definition of a "what is a man" vs. "what is a boy" is a little different from the discussion of the characteristics of a male vs. a female, even keeping to the 10-year-old daughter rule. That is, are we talking about when the male of the species attains maturity, or are we talking about whether the Three Stooges are funny?

AndyC wrote:
So - what do you guys and gals believe are the ideal things that make a man?

What makes a man?
-Raising his kids to be respectful and passing down good morals to them.

A good man shapes good children that grow up to be good men and women.

Are you asking about "male versus female" XY chromosome and a SRY gene, or rather a man versus a boy?

As in "Man UP?"

A boy does what he wants to do, a man does what he has to do.

SOOOO many wonderful choices! I'll limit myself.
A man gives of himself fully in charity and love.

• All of the Song of Solomon
  Put me as a seal upon thy heart, as a seal upon thy arm, for love is strong as death, jealousy as hard as [Sheol], the lamps thereof are fire and flames. Many waters cannot quench charity, neither can the floods drown it: if a man should give all the substance of his house for love, he shall despise it as nothing. Song of Solomon 8:6-7
  
  All of 1 Corinthians
  Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in (charity) love. 1 Cor 16:13-14
  
  Ephesians 5:25-32
  Husbands, love your wives, as Christ also loved the church, and delivered himself up for it:
  That he might sanctify it, cleansing it by the laver of water in the word of life:
  That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle, or any; such thing; but that it should be holy, and without blemish.
  So also ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife, loveth himself.
  For no man ever hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, as also Christ doth the church:
  Because we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
  For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and they shall be two in one flesh.
  This is a great sacrament; but I speak in Christ and in the church.
  
  All of Theology of the Body
  ...that is, the capacity of expressing love, that love in which the person becomes a gift and—by means of this gift—fulfills the meaning of his being and existence. Let us recall here the text of the last Council which declared that man is the only creature in the visible world that God willed "for its own sake." It then added that man "can fully discover his true self only in a sincere giving of himself" -The Man-Person Becomes a Gift in the Freedom of Love

And my very favorite summation of what it means to be a man:
If
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!
-Rudyard Kipling

Also, Mike Gundy.

[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=RjF93E4LjlA[/youtube]

A protector of those that can't defend themselves, ESPECIALLY children.

The recent actions of Mr. Victor Perez come to mind.





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The following from Heinlein has long struck a chord with me.

In my home town sixty years ago when I was a child, my mother and father used to take me and my brothers and sisters out to Swope Park on Sunday afternoons. It was a wonderful place for kids, with picnic grounds and lakes and a zoo. But a railroad line cut straight through it.

One Sunday afternoon a young married couple were crossing these tracks. She apparently did not watch her step, for she managed to catch her foot in the frog of a switch to a siding and could not pull it free. Her husband stopped to help her. But try as they might they could not get her foot loose. While they were working at it, a tramp showed up, walking the ties. He joined the husband in trying to pull the young woman's foot loose. No luck -- Out of sight around the curve a train whistled.

Perhaps there would have been time to run and flag it down, perhaps not. In any case both men went right ahead trying to pull her free... and the train hit them. The wife was killed, the husband was mortally injured and died later, the tramp was killed -- and testimony showed that neither man made the slightest effort to save himself. The husband's behavior was heroic... but what we expect of a husband toward his wife: his right, and his proud privilege, to die for his woman. But what of this nameless stranger? Up to the very last second he could have jumped clear. He did not. He was still trying to save this woman he had never seen before in his life, right up to the very instant the train killed him. And that's all we'll ever know about him.

This is how a man dies. This is how a man... lives!

A man knows what his purpose is and is actively pursuing that as he uses his strength for the benefit of others.

A man lifts others up instead of putting them down.

A man does what is right, no matter what it costs him.

You guys know me... ...and I talk a lot; but I've thought a lot about this stuff for the last 20 years as I have tried to imbue my now 20 year old (soon to be 21) son with the values of a man. Some of you have met him. I may not be much, but I think my son came out alright.

For years, he and I have joked about that famous Clint Eastwood line: "A man's gotta know his limitations." In my son, that has morphed into his own personal motto of: "Under-promise, and over-deliver."

Here are some things I like about him that indicate he has attained manhood:

He looks his elders in the eye, without disrespect. He treats women with respect, and he doesn't tolerate men who don't. He likes, and is generally tolerant and protective of children. He is unaffected in mannerisms with his peers. His peers have, on several occasions, told him that they appreciate his steady and reliable nature because he helps to keep them grounded. He can shoot a rifle like nobody's business. He loads his own ammo. He taught his girlfriend how to shoot - and how to clean a gun. Chastity outside of marriage is important to him, and he practices what he preaches. He is sober and has never tried drugs (he once threatened to beat the pants off of someone who offered him some). He doesn't drink or smoke, and he still somehow manages not to be boring. He works hard, and has been given supervisory responsibilities on his job - over people more than double his own age - and he has managed to do it by leading them from the front rather than browbeating them from behind. He loves God and his faith is important in his life.

I was none of those things growing up, and certainly not when I was 20. About the only thing I can say for myself is that I have tried to learn from my mistakes, and tried to make certain that the sins of the father were not visited upon the son.

Hoi, thanks for posting Kipling's poem. It has been a number of years since I read it last. Kipling certainly "gets it." Anyway, I'm old enough now that I'm beginning to live vicariously through my son, and I like what I see because it is redemptive of my own checkered past.

I'm not sure if I could explain manhood to anybody, and I'm not sure if I am qualified to do so. But I know that my son could explain it and is qualified to do so - and that is enough for any man.

Hoi Polloi wrote:SOOOO many wonderful choices! I'll limit myself.
A man gives of himself fully in charity and love.

• All of the Song of Solomon
  Put me as a seal upon thy heart, as a seal upon thy arm, for love is strong as death, jealousy as hard as [Sheol], the lamps thereof are fire and flames. Many waters cannot quench charity, neither can the floods drown it: if a man should give all the substance of his house for love, he shall despise it as nothing. Song of Solomon 8:6-7
  
  All of 1 Corinthians
  Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in (charity) love. 1 Cor 16:13-14
  
  Ephesians 5:25-32
  Husbands, love your wives, as Christ also loved the church, and delivered himself up for it:
  That he might sanctify it, cleansing it by the laver of water in the word of life:
  That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle, or any; such thing; but that it should be holy, and without blemish.
  So also ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife, loveth himself.
  For no man ever hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, as also Christ doth the church:
  Because we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
  For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and they shall be two in one flesh.
  This is a great sacrament; but I speak in Christ and in the church.
  
  All of Theology of the Body
  ...that is, the capacity of expressing love, that love in which the person becomes a gift and—by means of this gift—fulfills the meaning of his being and existence. Let us recall here the text of the last Council which declared that man is the only creature in the visible world that God willed "for its own sake." It then added that man "can fully discover his true self only in a sincere giving of himself" -The Man-Person Becomes a Gift in the Freedom of Love

And my very favorite summation of what it means to be a man:
If
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!
-Rudyard Kipling

My first inclination was to cite Kipling's poem as a good summary, but you beat me to it.