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I'm so confused.
Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 8:43 pm
by KinnyLee
And frustrated at the same time.
This woman I'm currently dating does not see the reason why I conceal carry. Pretty much all she sees is guns takes lifes. I've already told her that this is something I will do as a last resort to save a life. She just can't seem to understand.
I just can't win.

Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 8:55 pm
by dws1117
Sounds like she needs to meet other ladies that shoot. Have you been able to get her to the range? Good luck.
Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 8:58 pm
by jbirds1210
I know it is a bit redundant Kinny.......but point her to
http://www.corneredcat.com
She makes some very strong arguments.
Re: I'm so confused.
Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 9:22 pm
by Crossfire
KinnyLee wrote:
This woman I'm currently dating does not see the reason why I conceal carry. Pretty much all she sees is guns takes lifes. I've already told her that this is something I will do as a last resort to save a life. She just can't seem to understand.
I just can't win.

OK, how about this. "Honey, I am so devoted to you that I would do anything to protect you, including, as a last resort, using a firearm. If anything ever happened to you, and I did not do everything I was capable of to prevent it, then I just could not live with myself."
Then, if all goes well, you can take it a step further. "Since I can't be with you all the time, I would feel much better if you were willing to learn to defend yourself as well." Then work on finding her a female shooting coach. Most local ranges know someone.
And, just so you don't get too discouraged, know that this may not be easy or quick. There are some deep seated reasons that women don't like firearms. One is ignorance. You fear what you do not know. And then there is the fear of being embarassed while you are trying to learn, and fear of being ridiculed by other women when they find out you shoot.
And the last thing, and the one no woman wants to admit: if I admit that I might need to defend myself sometime, then I am admitting that something bad could happen to me. As long as I never admit that something bad could, indeed, happen to ME, then I can feel safe in my own mind. Bad logic, perhaps, but you do what you have to, to rationalize these things.
Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 11:24 pm
by Venus Pax
I agree with pointing her to cornered cat.
Also, it may just take time.
Re: I'm so confused.
Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 8:11 am
by jbirds1210
KinnyLee wrote:And frustrated at the same time.
This woman I'm currently dating does not see the reason why I conceal carry. Pretty much all she sees is guns takes lifes. I've already told her that this is something I will do as a last resort to save a life. She just can't seem to understand.
I just can't win.

Kinny-
Wait until we get back from out of town and Kimberly and I will take you two out to dinner. Bring it up casually and let my wife tell the story of how scared she was to be close to a gun when we started dating. She thought of every excuse known to man to stay away from the firing range. She shot some of my guns, got frustrated, and got some training from ElGato!

The order of it was beautiful. She is now very confident with her pistol. I still encourage the dry fire practice, but I know that will come with time. Good luck.
Jason
Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 8:52 am
by SRVA
Kinny, You could always bring her out to meet Donna.
Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 8:55 am
by longtooth
Both the above are excellent invitations. Put her on the board & let her talk to some of the ladies. If any have the same vocation she does that will be a starting point.
Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 1:50 pm
by jbirdswife
Kinny - Not only did I think of every excuse in the book not to go to the range, but I thought Jason was a bit over the top about all of this "gun stuff". After some time, I realized how important it was to him - and since he was important to me I became more willing to learn about it.
LLWatston made a great point about having to admit that being able to defend yourself means there is a chance something bad might happen. As Jason likes to say, I grew up in "Beaver Cleaver Land" and never really thought about it much.
I think dinner after the Vegas trip is a great idea! (that is if you are not sick and tired of Jason

) In any case, you are a sweet guy and I really hope she takes the time to learn about and understand your position.
Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 4:29 pm
by KinnyLee
Hehe, thank you for the support guys, and gals

.
She's an open-minded person, she just doesn't understand. I guess I'm not doing a good enough job of explaining to her.
I did tell her the reason I carry is to defend myself and friends and family. She thinks that me concealed carrying to prepared for something bad that might happen is being paranoid.
She did expressed interest in coming to the range with me sometime, but who knows when that will be.
Kimberly, thanks for the offer to talk to her. I think it's great! I'll talk to her about it and see what she says. And I just hope Jason doesn't get tired of me when we come back from Vegas. lol.

Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 5:06 pm
by seamusTX
KinnyLee wrote:She thinks that me concealed carrying to prepared for something bad that might happen is being paranoid.
Every day, 300 million people in the U.S. go about their business in peace (thank God) and don't think about the bad things that can happen.
Every day, about 3,800 are murdered, robbed, or assaulted.
(Source:
http://www.fbi.gov/ucr/05cius/data/table_01.html)
I wouldn't shove that in her face, though. Other people have given you good recommendations. The only thing I have to add is that shooting sports like skeet, or just plinking with a .22 rifle can be a less intimidating introduction to firearms than going to a busy range and shooting handguns.
- Jim
Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 7:44 pm
by flintknapper
KinnyLee wrote:Hehe, thank you for the support guys, and gals

.
She's an open-minded person, she just doesn't understand. I guess I'm not doing a good enough job of explaining to her.
I did tell her the reason I carry is to defend myself and friends and family. She thinks that me concealed carrying
to be prepared for something bad that might happen is being paranoid.
She did expressed interest in coming to the range with me sometime, but who knows when that will be.
Kimberly, thanks for the offer to talk to her. I think it's great! I'll talk to her about it and see what she says. And I just hope Jason doesn't get tired of me when we come back from Vegas. lol.

Take the spare tire out of the trunk of her car. Yes, she might have a flat someday and need it.....but basically it is just taking up room, odds are she won't need it anytime soon.
Reasonably
prepared does not equal "paranoid".
Just kidding, be gentle.
Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 8:18 pm
by Venus Pax
One in four women will be a victim of a sex crime at some point in her life. That number is way too high to go around without a defense plan.
Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 10:24 pm
by GlockenHammer
After telling my husband that he was not allowed to have a gun--in much harsher words--he came home with one anyway. You can see how much pull I have. Anyway, I was very wary of having guns in the house and wanted nothing to do with them. I didn't know how to tell if it was loaded, how to load it, how to aim, shoot, etc. When I quickly determined that the guns weren't going away--and I wasn't willing to get rid of my husband just yet-- I signed up for an NRA basic gun safety course at the gun range. It was the best thing I could have done. I learned all about the weapon from someone besides my husband, which was probably a wise move. You can ask the stupid questions and feel inept much more easliy around strangers. Additionally, I took a friend with me who also had a gun-owning husband. We both felt much more comfortable after the class. I have suggested the basic gun safety class to other women who are uncomfortable around guns, or with the idea of guns in general, and hope they end up as comfortable as I am. I followed up a year later with a CHL class and even own my own gun. I am now shopping for a smaller one that I can comfortably carry concealed. Good luck!
Mrs. Glockenhammer
Posted: Mon Nov 27, 2006 11:54 pm
by KinnyLee
I hope she would get a CHL eventually or even learn how to defend herself at least, but right now I will be happy if I could help her understand. Hehe.