Moral Support

[Keith]

Well here is my issue. Going to my brother in laws B-day party at my mother in laws house today. The problem though she is a great women and I respect her(raised 3 kids on her own when husband left her for younger women) she is a hard core Democrat and my wife wants me to ask her if it's ok that I'm carrying in her house. I'm worried she will say not to and then I'm going to not go. This of course will make my wife upset and the family. I have strong beliefs in my right to carry. Also when you least expect it is when something will happen.My feeling is that it's called concealed for a reason and they don't need to know I'm carrying. My wife feels that this is being untrueful and disrespected towards her wishes. I know it's her house but I can't see unarming when I feel I'm hurting no one and I'm extremely safe when it comes to my guns. Help am I wrong?

[C-dub]

I'm with you on this one Keith. The SIL doesn't need to know. My wife has come way around on the whole issue with me carrying over the years and feels it's no one's business but hers and mine. She just assumes that I'm carrying everywhere and is sometimes surprised to find out when I can't.

[Oldgringo]

Don't ask, don't tell AND sure don't show.

[seamusTX]

1. You are not legally obligated in Texas to tell someone that you are carrying in their home (though you are in Arkansas).
2. You are not morally obligated to tell anyone what you are wearing under your clothing. If you were diabetic and had a couple of doses of insulin, you wouldn't tell. Insulin can kill. Lack of insulin can kill.
3. Your wife needs to understand that wearing a loaded, properly holstered handgun is less dangerous than not wearing one.
4. No neighborhood is immune from home invasions or muggings.

Ain't nobody's business but my own

- Jim

[chabouk]

Just like with a business posting a 30.06 sign, anyone who feels strongly enough about not allowing guns in her home should make sure you know before you enter.

You have no obligation to tell your MIL what's under your clothing.

[The Annoyed Man]

My wife feels that this is being untrueful and disrespected towards her wishes.

Whose wishes? Your wife's, or your MIL's? My feeling is that it would be disrespectful to open carry in her home, knowing her feelings in the matter. But if she doesn't know, then who is hurt? Of course if your wife rats you out, then you've got a huge can of worms on your hands.

My wouldn't have raised the issue... ...but of course she would have her own gun on her too.

[Keith]

Her mother. I guess in this case blood is thicker then water. Its been a heated discussion all day. Im worn out. I am at home by myself though as I did not go. I talked to her explaining that there was no reason for her mother to know. She feels its being dishonest and that I owe her mother that because its her mothers home and im the guest. Its going to be cold in my house for a while I think. I have a good marriage 18 years but we both have are times when we wont give up. This is one of them.Well see I guess.

[The Annoyed Man]

Keith, would it be fair to say that your wife is ambivalent about guns and RKBA issues herself? I ask, because it sounds to me like that is what is driving the "conversation," and that her concerns about "disrespecting" your MIL are just a symptom of that ambivalence, rather than the actual perceived disrespect.

[Keith]

I think you are correct and very fair to say. I appreciate your honest question. Most of the time its never an issue and she has even showed some interest in guns but I think she would also be just fine if mine went away. We had a situation a while back when she thought someone was in our house and the first thing she said was get your gun. This happened a long time ago but I reminded her of it today. Her answer was thats our home amd were not guests here. I wont beat a dead horse as you know my problem already.

[Oldgringo]

I think you are correct and very fair to say. I appreciate your honest question. Most of the time its never an issue and she has even showed some interest in guns but I think she would also be just fine if mine went away. We had a situation a while back when she thought someone was in our house and the first thing she said was get your gun. This happened a long time ago but I reminded her of it today. Her answer was thats our home amd were not guests here. I wont beat a dead horse as you know my problem already.

Are guns the only issues? Good luck and God Bless.

[seamusTX]

Its been a heated discussion all day. Im worn out. I am at home by myself though as I did not go.... Its going to be cold in my house for a while I think.

This may sound trite, but ...

"I love you. You love me. We have our differences of opinion. We pledged 'until death us do part.' Let's figure out how to reach an agreement."

It can be done.

- Jim

[ddurkof]

My in-laws are democrat and some of the best people in the world. They have never owned guns, but it has never been an issue at any of the in-laws house in 31 years of marriage. Sometimes wives pick fights just to pick fights. I am not sure why, but it happens. They know what you won't budge on and so they pick that to fight about. If this hasn't been a problem in the past then it shouldn't be a problem now. What has changed? I am with you, I rarely go anywhere not armed. Good luck and I hope the "chill" ends quickly.

[chabouk]

Her mother. I guess in this case blood is thicker then water. Its been a heated discussion all day. Im worn out. I am at home by myself though as I did not go. I talked to her explaining that there was no reason for her mother to know. She feels its being dishonest and that I owe her mother that because its her mothers home and im the guest.

I hate that things have gotten chilly.

Without protracting the argument (it's time to move on), I have to wonder if your wife thinks every time you enter a home or business you should announce, "I have a gun. Is that okay?"

ETA: I suspect your wife might have some insecurities about her relationship with her mother, and is worried about anything upsetting it. If you're now the bad guy in the family (I assume they discussed the reason for your absence), she doesn't have to worry, because now they'll be united on this issue.

[Keith]

Thanks for All the replies. It helps hearing from CHLs. She came home And were talking it out cooler heads allways prevail. She told the family I had to study. To answer just one question guns are generally our only issue. I've allwYs owned them but grew up in Illinois so she is not used to my new chl freedom . Well work it out and thanks again . One thing for sure I know that my father told me when I was young YOU DONT HAVE TO STAND TALL BUT YOU HAVE TO STAND if you feel you are right.

[frazzled]

Well here is my issue. Going to my brother in laws B-day party at my mother in laws house today. The problem though she is a great women and I respect her(raised 3 kids on her own when husband left her for younger women) she is a hard core Democrat and my wife wants me to ask her if it's ok that I'm carrying in her house. I'm worried she will say not to and then I'm going to not go. This of course will make my wife upset and the family. I have strong beliefs in my right to carry. Also when you least expect it is when something will happen.My feeling is that it's called concealed for a reason and they don't need to know I'm carrying. My wife feels that this is being untrueful and disrespected towards her wishes. I know it's her house but I can't see unarming when I feel I'm hurting no one and I'm extremely safe when it comes to my guns. Help am I wrong?

No one should know but you, the Wife, the Dog, the former groomsmen who go with you shooting, and us of course.