Enjoy!!
Ingredients:
1 c. butter
1 c. sugar
4 lg. eggs
2 lb. dried fruit
1 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. soda
1 tsp. salt
Lemon juice
1 c. brown sugar
5 c. nuts
3 c. mixed candied fruit
1-2 qt. whiskey
Directions:
Before you start, sample the whiskey to check for quality. Good, isn't it? Now go ahead, select a large mixing bowl, measure cup, etc. Check the whiskey again as it must be just right. To be sure the whiskey is of the highest quality, pour 1 level cup into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat.
With an electric mixer, beat 1 cup of butter in large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of thugar and beat again. Meanwhile, make sure that the whiskey is of the finest quality. Cry another tup. Open second quart if it is necessary. Add 2 arge leggs, 2 cups of fried druit and beat until high. If druit gets stuck in beaters, just pry loose with a screw driver.
Sample the whiskey again, thecking for tonsicity, then sift 12 cups of salt or anything, it really doesn't matter. Sample the whiskey. Sift 1/2 pint lemon juice. Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts. Add 1 babblespoon of brown thugar or whatever color you can find and mix well. Grease oven and turn cake pan to 350 degrees. Now pour the whole mess into the coven and ake. Check the whiskey again and bo to ged.
BEST FRUIT CAKE EVER
Moderators: carlson1, Charles L. Cotton
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The Annoyed Man
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BEST FRUIT CAKE EVER
“Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. And, weak men create hard times.”
― G. Michael Hopf, "Those Who Remain"
#TINVOWOOT
― G. Michael Hopf, "Those Who Remain"
#TINVOWOOT
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DONT TREAD ON ME
Re: BEST FRUIT CAKE EVER
That brought back some memories of how I used to cook in college.
Re: BEST FRUIT CAKE EVER
Oh my goodness I'm dying here.... took a drink of diet coke to try and keep the giggles down and nearly hosed my monitor down.
Where does one find a babblespoon?
Psalm 91:2
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The Annoyed Man
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Re: BEST FRUIT CAKE EVER
They're easy to spot, right after you theck che whiskey for tonsicity.SQLGeek wrote:
Oh my goodness I'm dying here.... took a drink of diet coke to try and keep the giggles down and nearly hosed my monitor down.
Where does one find a babblespoon?
“Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. And, weak men create hard times.”
― G. Michael Hopf, "Those Who Remain"
#TINVOWOOT
― G. Michael Hopf, "Those Who Remain"
#TINVOWOOT
Re: BEST FRUIT CAKE EVER
I sure hope none of you are 'baking and carrying' 
Keith
Texas LTC Instructor, Missouri CCW Instructor, NRA Certified Pistol, Rifle, Shotgun Instructor and RSO, NRA Life Member
Psalm 82:3-4
Texas LTC Instructor, Missouri CCW Instructor, NRA Certified Pistol, Rifle, Shotgun Instructor and RSO, NRA Life Member
Psalm 82:3-4
Re: BEST FRUIT CAKE EVER
Oh my gosh! That is soooooo funny! I'm sending that to wifey so she can post it on facebooks, or what ever that silly thing she does! I love it!
TAM, where'd you come up with that? It's a classic worth saving!
Diplomacy is the Art of Letting Someone Have Your Way
TSRA
Colt Gov't Model .380
TSRA
Colt Gov't Model .380
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The Annoyed Man
- Senior Member
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- Joined: Wed Jan 16, 2008 12:59 pm
- Location: North Richland Hills, Texas
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Re: BEST FRUIT CAKE EVER
It actually IS a classic. The first time I saw it, the interwebs weren't really available to most folks yet, and it was on a photocopied sheet being passed around the office.joe817 wrote:
Oh my gosh! That is soooooo funny! I'm sending that to wifey so she can post it on facebooks, or what ever that silly thing she does! I love it!
TAM, where'd you come up with that? It's a classic worth saving!
“Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. And, weak men create hard times.”
― G. Michael Hopf, "Those Who Remain"
#TINVOWOOT
― G. Michael Hopf, "Those Who Remain"
#TINVOWOOT
Re: BEST FRUIT CAKE EVER
Keith B wrote:I sure hope none of you are 'baking and carrying'
PURSUANT TO SECTION 30.14, PENAL CODE (CRIMINAL BAKING BY HOLDER OF A LICENSE TO CARRY A CONCEALED HANDGUN) A PERSON LICENSED UNDER SUBCHAPTER H, CHAPTER 411, GOVERNMENT CODE (CONCEALED HANDGUN LAW), MAY NOT MAKE THIS FRUITCAKE WITH A CONCEALED HANDGUN.
CONFORME A A lA SECCION 30,14, CODIGO PENAL (CRIMINAL QUE HORNEA POR POSEEDOR DE UNA LICENCIA PARA LLEVAR UNA PISTOLA OCULTADA) UNA PERSONA LICENCIO BAJO SUBCHAPTER H, El CAPITULO 411, CODIGO DE GOBIERNO (OCULTO LA LEY DE PISTOLA), MAYO NO HACE ESTE VENTA DE GARAGE CON UNA PISTOLA OCULTADA
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The Annoyed Man
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Re: BEST FRUIT CAKE EVER
I believe that is the correct wording for a "30.Old No. 7" sign....7075-T7 wrote:Keith B wrote:I sure hope none of you are 'baking and carrying'
PURSUANT TO SECTION 30.14, PENAL CODE (CRIMINAL BAKING BY HOLDER OF A LICENSE TO CARRY A CONCEALED HANDGUN) A PERSON LICENSED UNDER SUBCHAPTER H, CHAPTER 411, GOVERNMENT CODE (CONCEALED HANDGUN LAW), MAY NOT MAKE THIS FRUITCAKE WITH A CONCEALED HANDGUN.
CONFORME A A lA SECCION 30,14, CODIGO PENAL (CRIMINAL QUE HORNEA POR POSEEDOR DE UNA LICENCIA PARA LLEVAR UNA PISTOLA OCULTADA) UNA PERSONA LICENCIO BAJO SUBCHAPTER H, El CAPITULO 411, CODIGO DE GOBIERNO (OCULTO LA LEY DE PISTOLA), MAYO NO HACE ESTE VENTA DE GARAGE CON UNA PISTOLA OCULTADA
“Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. And, weak men create hard times.”
― G. Michael Hopf, "Those Who Remain"
#TINVOWOOT
― G. Michael Hopf, "Those Who Remain"
#TINVOWOOT
Re: BEST FRUIT CAKE EVER
The Annoyed Man wrote:I believe that is the correct wording for a "30.Old No. 7" sign....
Re: BEST FRUIT CAKE EVER
I copied the recipe and sent it to my wife. Of course I will volunteer to be the cook. 
Taurus PT111
Ruger LCP
5/26/10 Plastic
To see what is right and not to do it is want of courage.
Confucius
Ruger LCP
5/26/10 Plastic
To see what is right and not to do it is want of courage.
Confucius
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StewNTexas
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- Joined: Mon May 18, 2009 4:05 pm
- Location: Ingleside, TX
Re: BEST FRUIT CAKE EVER
Sounds like a great receipe, but maybe a little hard to duplicate exactly.
I would not hang around too long waiting for Bobby Flay to show up for a 'Throwdown' though, I don't think this would translate to something a New Yorker would understand.
I would not hang around too long waiting for Bobby Flay to show up for a 'Throwdown' though, I don't think this would translate to something a New Yorker would understand.
If the 2nd admendment only applies to muskets and muzzle-loaders, then the 1st admentment must apply only to the spoken or printed word. Printing must be done on hand presses, news stories must be written in longhand, no keyboards or electric processes may be used.
