Baybrook Mall Sexual Assault 12/9/13

[03Lightningrocks]

Some situations where you are trying to help a person can backfire on you in a big way. .

'
Sad but true. If you really think about it, spouses who are abused voluntarily stay in the relationship because they enjoy being abused. Otherwise, why would they stay in the relationship and not leave?

I would help a woman who was screaming for help, but I wouldn't help a woman who was being abused and just voluntarily submitting to the abuse. A similar event happened to a close friend of mine. A lady friend of mine sprayed pepper spray on a guy beating a woman who kept apologizing to the man beating her up. The guy beats my friend up. The lady getting abused that my friend tried to protect then called the cops and reported that my friend assaulted her man for no reason and that her man was just defending himself when he pummeled my friend.

I doubt anyone enjoys being abused. There are many irrational reasons an abused person chooses to stay with an abuser but enjoyment of abuse would not typically be one of them.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-craig- ... 86921.html
I don't usually link to the Huffington Post, but it is a good article.

I don't think any woman "enjoys" being abused. Some allow it to happen for various reasons but entertainment is not likely one of those reasons for most women. I haven't read the link JMRA posted yet but from what I have read in the past, much of it is self esteem issues. Add a pinch of fear... a dash of no place to go for escape and you have a cocktail for abuse.

My company does gratis HVAC work for a womens shelter. Lennox gives us free equipment if they need it. We are we not allowed to say the location and we are not permitted to say the name of the place. It is a sanctuary for abused women to escape abusive situations. The place is packed. Personally, I would like to advertise the address and have a few of my "boys" waiting around up there to pummel abusive husbands. Most of the men who do this are insecure cowards. The overgrown piece of garbage in my story was crying like a baby after the cops cuffed him. He was calling for his momma as he tried to breath after I let go of his throat. That tells me men who beat on women are cowards. Typically, they are also lacking in intelligence,(which is not to be confused with education), the two rarely co-exist s evidenced by this forum... . J/K.... about that last shot but I started feeling like I was getting to deep.

By the way. It is not as common but some men are abused by their women partners. I had an employee who would come to work with black eyes and bruises on occasion. I thought he was getting in drunkin brawls over the weekends. I found out it was his wife when I let him go. I could not send a guy that looked like an under cooked meatloaf to my customers homes. I don't know what ever happened to him but he claimed he loved her and his kids too much to leave. I bet women fear for the children issue as well.

All that being said, I will never believe a person likes being beat up by a spouse. I know getting in the middle of such a situation is not something I would do a second time. Don't get me wrong, I would not sit by and let a person be beat to heck and back but I should never have ask her if she was alright. I think I made it worse by embarrassing him.

[C-dub]

There will be some people, not just women, that will enjoy or thrive or get a thrill from being abused. Not very many, but they're there. You get into that whole dominance/submission relationship and take it even further than most. It is definitely not common, but they're out there.

[Abraham]

A friend of mine was physically abused by his wife because she knew if he defended himself by striking back, she'd call the cops and insist she struck him in the course of defending herself.

After a couple of assaults by her, he finally wised up and divorced her without ever defending himself beyond covering up.

He could've easily beat her without much effort as he's a very strong guy, but decided in a "He said/She said" scenario, he would've been perceived as the assaulter.

I think this type assault happens with greater frequency than is heard much about...

[03Lightningrocks]

My ex was a "hitter". She was 110 pounds soaking wet so she couldn't really do damage but she would get angry and start hitting on me. I realize there are some in this forum that are probably thinking, "I would like to hit him too", but it still isn't the correct way to communicate. That ding bat got mad at me one time while I was throttling her in scrabble. Right in front of several members of the family she gets up and kicks my shin with her bare foot. She broke her big toe so bad it was pointing straight out to the right. We were all laughing so hard at her it almost caused more injuries to bystanders. Off to the hospital we went. They were quizzing her as if I had somehow broke her toe. Back then it was pretty rare to have a man getting "abused". She told them straight up that I was being a jerk so she kicked me. Again, I realize some on this forum are probably still taking her side, but abuse can take many forms.

Sorry... Abrahams story caused me to remember that stuff. I got rid of that problem 20 years ago and never looked back. Divorce, by the way. I didn't bury her anywhere...although nobody would have faulted me if I did.

To stay on topic... because of the history I have with these things, I am real hesitant to get involved in anything that appears to be a family issue in public. But I have my limits on what I will stand by and do nothing about.

[Tic Tac]

If someone values so cheaply their own life and safety that they don't bother to carry their own gun, I'm not going to second guess their decision by using mine.

Dude, have you dated recently?

Dude, you're not my type.

Just out of curiosity, I asked a class that I taught in college a couple of years ago, if anybody had a CHL. A couple of men and an OLDER woman raised their hands. This was repeated in subsequent classes as an informal survey and guess what?

Guess what. I would never raise my hand at a school to volunteer that I have a CHL. Very very poor opsec. Dude.

[03Lightningrocks]

............"Abraham"...........

Just out of curiosity, I asked a class that I taught in college a couple of years ago, if anybody had a CHL. A couple of men and an OLDER woman raised their hands. This was repeated in subsequent classes as an informal survey and guess what?

Guess what. I would never raise my hand at a school to volunteer that I have a CHL. Very very poor opsec. Dude.

There is no way I would have raised my hand. I most likely would have gotten rude with you. Having a CHL, you should know better than to be digging around about this issue in a classroom situation.

[C-dub]

Just out of curiosity, I asked a class that I taught in college a couple of years ago, if anybody had a CHL. A couple of men and an OLDER woman raised their hands. This was repeated in subsequent classes as an informal survey and guess what?

Guess what. I would never raise my hand at a school to volunteer that I have a CHL. Very very poor opsec. Dude.

I was thinking the same thing. I have been in a situation like that and did not raise my hand.

[WildBill]

Just out of curiosity, I asked a class that I taught in college a couple of years ago, if anybody had a CHL. A couple of men and an OLDER woman raised their hands. This was repeated in subsequent classes as an informal survey and guess what?

Guess what. I would never raise my hand at a school to volunteer that I have a CHL. Very very poor opsec. Dude.

I was thinking the same thing. I have been in a situation like that and did not raise my hand.

During my CHL renewal class the instructor asked how many already had their CHLs and about half raised their hand.

[03Lightningrocks]

Just out of curiosity, I asked a class that I taught in college a couple of years ago, if anybody had a CHL. A couple of men and an OLDER woman raised their hands. This was repeated in subsequent classes as an informal survey and guess what?

Guess what. I would never raise my hand at a school to volunteer that I have a CHL. Very very poor opsec. Dude.

I was thinking the same thing. I have been in a situation like that and did not raise my hand.

During my CHL renewal class the instructor asked how many already had their CHLs and about half raised their hand.

But I feel pretty sure you recognize the difference in asking this question in a CHL class and a college course.

[WildBill]

Just out of curiosity, I asked a class that I taught in college a couple of years ago, if anybody had a CHL. A couple of men and an OLDER woman raised their hands. This was repeated in subsequent classes as an informal survey and guess what?

Guess what. I would never raise my hand at a school to volunteer that I have a CHL. Very very poor opsec. Dude.

I was thinking the same thing. I have been in a situation like that and did not raise my hand.

During my CHL renewal class the instructor asked how many already had their CHLs and about half raised their hand.

But I feel pretty sure you recognize the difference in asking this question in a CHL class and a college course.

Never went to collage school.