HOW TO CALL THE POLICE

[sparx]

HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE

George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and he said "no." Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available. George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just shot them all." Then he hung up.

Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

[KinnyLee]

HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE

George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and he said "no." Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available. George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just shot them all." Then he hung up.

Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

[casselthief]

Wocka Wocka Wocka!

[135boomer]

That's good! I'll remember it just in case.

[G.C.Montgomery]

It would be funny if there weren't some truth to it. I learned the hard way last year that a burglary is little more than a clerical incident for the Houston Police Department. They are there to file a report, take your money for an alarm permit and little else. The real investigative man-power is reserved for burglaries where property loss exceeds $20,000 or you have a leaking/dead body (be it suspect or victim) connected to the burglary on your property.

I know this because there is a memo to that effect hanging on the various boards around the division signed by Capt. Ceaser Moore who hopes to be come chief some day. Oh, gun play certainly helps motivate a response but then it's no longer a burglary, it's aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and the response comes from the local patrol command, not B&T. Thinking about my last interaction with the PD inspired a long rant that I've deleted because it really doesn't accomplish anything.

[O6nop]

Funny stuff, but in real life, wouldn't there be some sort of penalty for falsifying a 9-1-1 call? Could lose your CHL, I don' know.

[stevie_d_64]

Priceless...

[kw5kw]

Funny stuff, but in real life, wouldn't there be some sort of penalty for falsifying a 9-1-1 call? Could lose your CHL, I don' know.

That's what I'd be worried about.

Russ

[seamusTX]

You might want to see what Snopes has to say about this story:
http://www.snopes.com/crime/safety/response.htm

Calling 911 to report something that didn't happen is a crime, and it is prosecuted.

- Jim

[Skiprr]

Off on a very wide tangent, but someone in my CHL class last year seriously suggested using this command phrase to get a bad guy to take notice: "Puh-LEZE, FREEZE!"

Not a tactic I'd personally recommend...

"Mr. Smith, the suspect says that you presented yourself to be a law enforcement officer."

"Oh, not at all. I didn't say 'Police, freeze"; I said 'Please, freeze!'"

[G.C.Montgomery]

I've heard that before, I've even joked about saying it myself. But when it comes down to it, I really don't have a problem with a person using such commands if it prevents them from having to poke a hole in someone.

As I interpret the law(posted below), I think it will take a pretty liberal leap to claim the person was impersonating a peace officer. I'm not saying it's good advice but the fact is, if you issue any commands whatsoever, one could claim you were impersonating a peace officer. Even the simple command of "STOP!" could get you into trouble depending on how narrowly you interpret the law. But, I'm not LE or a lawyer so I'd say if you want an answer on that question, ask someone who has studied criminal law.


=============================================
§ 37.11. IMPERSONATING PUBLIC SERVANT. (a) A person
commits an offense if he:
(1) impersonates a public servant with intent to
induce another to submit to his pretended official authority or to
rely on his pretended official acts; or
(2) knowingly purports to exercise any function of a
public servant or of a public office, including that of a judge and
court, and the position or office through which he purports to
exercise a function of a public servant or public office has no
lawful existence under the constitution or laws of this state or of
the United States.
(b) An offense under this section is a felony of the third
degree.

Acts 1973, 63rd Leg., p. 883, ch. 399, § 1, eff. Jan. 1, 1974.
Amended by Acts 1993, 73rd Leg., ch. 900, § 1.01, eff. Sept. 1,
1994; Acts 1997, 75th Leg., ch. 189, § 7, eff. May 21, 1997.


§ 37.12. FALSE IDENTIFICATION AS PEACE OFFICER;
MISREPRESENTATION OF PROPERTY. (a) A person commits an offense
if:
(1) the person makes, provides to another person, or
possesses a card, document, badge, insignia, shoulder emblem, or
other item bearing an insignia of a law enforcement agency that
identifies a person as a peace officer or a reserve law enforcement
officer; and
(2) the person who makes, provides, or possesses the
item bearing the insignia knows that the person so identified by the
item is not commissioned as a peace officer or reserve law
enforcement officer as indicated on the item.
(b) It is a defense to prosecution under this section that:
(1) the card, document, badge, insignia, shoulder
emblem, or other item bearing an insignia of a law enforcement
agency clearly identifies the person as an honorary or junior peace
officer or reserve law enforcement officer, or as a member of a
junior posse;
(2) the person identified as a peace officer or
reserve law enforcement officer by the item bearing the insignia
was commissioned in that capacity when the item was made; or
(3) the item was used or intended for use exclusively
for decorative purposes or in an artistic or dramatic presentation.
(c) In this section, "reserve law enforcement officer" has
the same meaning as is given that term in Section 1701.001,
Occupations Code.
(d) A person commits an offense if the person intentionally
or knowingly misrepresents an object as property belonging to a law
enforcement agency.
(e) An offense under this section is a Class B misdemeanor.

Added by Acts 1983, 68th Leg., p. 5672, ch. 1075, § 1, eff. Sept.
1, 1983. Amended by Acts 1987, 70th Leg., ch. 514, § 1, eff.
Sept. 1, 1987; Acts 1993, 73rd Leg., ch. 900, § 1.01, eff. Sept.
1, 1994; Acts 2001, 77th Leg., ch. 1420, § 14.831, eff. Sept. 1,
2001.
=============================================

[glocklvr]

Please warn me before posting something that funny I just had to clean soda off my computer and desk. Too bad it is not far from the truth.

[HankB]

If you yell "POLICE! FREEZE!" or something of the sort, and later on the bad guy claims you were impersonating an officer, well, like any reasonable person, you were CALLING for the police, weren't you, before you told the BG to freeze?

As for the first case (the old guy who saw people breaking into his shed) . . . since saying he shot them might have gotten him into trouble, maybe the thing he should have done is called 911 and said "Help me - there are people breaking in, and I think they may have guns! I live at 123 Main street, please hurry!" - and then hang up. Not answer the phone if they call back. No lies, no false report, and if dispatch assumed the bad guys were breaking into his home instead of his shed, well, that's not his fault, is it?

Some years ago, my late uncle - a police lieutenant in Chicago - told me of one incident where a guy was somehow involved in a crime - it may have been an auto collision or something - and called the police, who didn't respond promptly. He went to the local Dunkin Donuts (!) and found a couple of LEOs, and reported the crime to THEM.

They threatened to run HIM in for "leaving the scene" but he just said fine, they'd see how the papers treated them when it came out he looked for - and FOUND - them at he local donut shop.