A Facebook warning of alleged child predator

[CHLLady]

I saw a re-post regarding a recent incident where an old man approached 2 small boys aged 4 and 5 years old in the mcdonalds restroom and asked their names and addresses. The police were called and said they could do nothing because he did not break the law.

It seems outrageous that a stranger can ask personal information from a child, without parent permission. If it's not illegal, it should be!

[jmra]

IHMO, this incident is a complete failure on the part of the parents. Who let's their 4 and 5 yo go to a public restroom alone? Who doesn't teach their kids not to talk to strangers?
As far as criminalizing an adult asking a child their name and address, what if the kid is lost? You just criminalized someone's ability to help the child.
We don't need more laws, we need enforcement of current laws in order to keep predators off the street and we need better parenting.

[jbarn]

I think over half of that type of stuff on Facebook is made up.

[tomtexan]

I think over half of that type of stuff on Facebook is made up.

[MotherBear]

IHMO, this incident is a complete failure on the part of the parents. Who let's their 4 and 5 yo go to a public restroom alone? Who doesn't teach their kids not to talk to strangers?

I've been known to let my 5-year-old go into the men's room while I wait outside. Usually when I have a cart full of groceries and two younger kids with me. I also don't teach him not to talk to strangers. Don't go anywhere with strangers. Don't take food from strangers. If you're talking to strangers, make sure parents or other adults you trust are nearby and within sight and hearing. But do talk to strangers, or you'll never make new friends.

I don't think you can criminalize adults asking kids for names and addresses, and I don't think parents can/should prevent their kids from ever having occasion to talk to strangers. Parents need to teach their kids what behavior from adults is weird and unacceptable, and to tell a safe adult about it just like these kids did. There's evil in the world and we can't change that. We here on this forum choose to arm ourselves against it, literally. We can figuratively arm our children to protect themselves as well.

[jmra]

Parents need to teach their kids what behavior from adults is weird

This is the context in which I was referring to "don't talk to strangers" and is the only context in which I have ever heard it taught. You shouldn't take things so literally (sorry WildBill).
If the parents had been standing outside the bathroom they would have noticed the old man and the old man would have noticed them paying attention. It's obvious this did not happen in this case (assuming the story is true at all).

[MotherBear]

This is the context in which I was referring to "don't talk to strangers" and is the only context in which I have ever heard it taught. You shouldn't take things so literally (sorry WildBill).
If the parents had been standing outside the bathroom they would have noticed the old man and the old man would have noticed them paying attention. It's obvious this did not happen in this case (assuming the story is true at all).

Sorry for misinterpreting. As a mom of young children, I run into other moms who do take "don't talk to strangers" literally. I feel sorry for kids growing up with that sort of mentality, and for parents living with the idea that every stranger is out to get them and/or their kids. As a kid, I was constantly talking to strangers (including adult strangers) and I made many good friends that way. And I'm grateful to my parents for not trying to make me afraid of strangers. Looking back I can see that they always kept tabs on who I was talking to, and afterward they were interested to hear what we talked about (I assumed they were just interested, but now I suspect they were also checking up on things).

I agree that the parents don't seem to have been outside the restroom door in this case, but I don't know that I'd rush to condemn them for that. At 5 years old, the older kid is probably riding a bus to school and that sort of thing, so a solo restroom trip isn't that big a deal. And with the two of them going together it makes even more sense: they can help each other out if needed, one could run for help if the other had problems, whatever. It may still be that the parents weren't paying attention, but I really don't think there was a parenting mistake here. The boys went to the bathroom, they came back and told their parents what happened, their parents took action. Exactly what you'd hope would happen.

[jmra]

This is the context in which I was referring to "don't talk to strangers" and is the only context in which I have ever heard it taught. You shouldn't take things so literally (sorry WildBill).
If the parents had been standing outside the bathroom they would have noticed the old man and the old man would have noticed them paying attention. It's obvious this did not happen in this case (assuming the story is true at all).

Sorry for misinterpreting. As a mom of young children, I run into other moms who do take "don't talk to strangers" literally. I feel sorry for kids growing up with that sort of mentality, and for parents living with the idea that every stranger is out to get them and/or their kids. As a kid, I was constantly talking to strangers (including adult strangers) and I made many good friends that way. And I'm grateful to my parents for not trying to make me afraid of strangers. Looking back I can see that they always kept tabs on who I was talking to, and afterward they were interested to hear what we talked about (I assumed they were just interested, but now I suspect they were also checking up on things).

I agree that the parents don't seem to have been outside the restroom door in this case, but I don't know that I'd rush to condemn them for that. At 5 years old, the older kid is probably riding a bus to school and that sort of thing, so a solo restroom trip isn't that big a deal. And with the two of them going together it makes even more sense: they can help each other out if needed, one could run for help if the other had problems, whatever. It may still be that the parents weren't paying attention, but I really don't think there was a parenting mistake here. The boys went to the bathroom, they came back and told their parents what happened, their parents took action. Exactly what you'd hope would happen.

Guess we will have to agree to disagree on the second paragraph.

[Keith B]

I think over half of that type of stuff on Facebook is made up.

Maybe, but then this wasn't made up http://www.ky3.com/news/hailey-owens-news/24559134" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

This guy basically had no priors and was even a football coach and worked in another school as a paraprofessional. More of this goes on than anyone would like to think.

[mamabearCali]

I have sent my 8 year old and 4 year old to the bathroom together. Usually I am just on the other side of the door, but I don't want to send my 8 year old into the men's room and take my 4 year old to the ladies room and put myself two doors away from him. If either of them screamed I am feet away so I can get to them in a hurry.


Like motherbear said five year olds are expected to ride the bus with 11 year olds, make it to class, then ride home again with 11 year olds again by themselves. Now mine don't, we keep our littles away from the public indoctrination centers, but with that in mind a bathroom trip really does not seem that far off normal.

[jmra]

This guy basically had no priors and was even a football coach and worked in another school as a paraprofessional. More of this goes on than anyone would like to think.

exactly why we accompanied our kids to public restrooms at that age.

[Pawpaw]

About 1981, I was in the USAF and stationed in Athens Greece. A 6 or 8 year old girl was raped in the ladies room at the NCO club. The sailor who did it gave her a Susan B Anthony dollar and told her not to tell anyone or she'd get in trouble. When her older sister found the girl, she had to coax her into telling what happened. The sister was probably the only person on earth the little girl would confide in. Of course, the sister convinced her they needed to tell Mommy and Daddy. Somewhere, in the middle of notifying the club manager and calling the security police, the little girl saw the sailor and pointed him out.

Since the NCO club was located off base, it took a while for the SPs to get there. They arrived just in time to stop dear-old-dad who was about 3 punches into a lesson the sailor probably wouldn't have lived long enough to remember.

[CHLLady]

The post included a photo of the individual and there was an officer partly in the photo.

I followed it over to the original poster. She had her page on public. I could see almost everything. The pictures of her kids, husband and small town she lives in... I shake my head!

[anygunanywhere]

I have seen statistics where one in 10 high school seniors have been molested.

This site puts the estimate as high as 20% (1 in five).

http://cachouston.org/child-sexual-abuse-facts/

Anygunanywhere