Started my walk straight to the gun counter, I even ignored 2 phone calls (work related). I always do the same thing ever time. I start inspecting the used long guns just out side of the room i dare not enter, for fear of financial devastation. As usual, the long guns never have a diamond in the rough. Half of the inventory can be found at any decent pawn shop for a fraction of the cost.
I repeat to my self “See, Bowman. You are not gonna buy a gun today.” As I begin to make my way around the NICS check out counter I see the used gun case. It has more inventory then last weeks insepction. Did I mentioned I frequent this store every Wednesday?
As I approach I hear the staff behind the counter complain about aches and pains. Sounds like the flu to me... “Mental note, those three shall not hand me nothing.” I politely say hi and dodge their request to show me a firearm.
I begin scanning the inventory row by row, majority of the handguns are a result of .40 going to the wayside.
Upon first inspection I find nothing! See, I am not going to buy a gun today!
I slowly walk down the counter mentally price checking the offerings. Cabelas by no means is the place that is going to have a bettter deal than Grabagun.com or any of the other online FFL’s. I Make it all the way down to the Glocks. I sure don’t need another one of those. At the end of the counter was a Cabelas employee. He too was aware of the other 3 that surly had the Flu or the beginnings of something nobody wants.
I get close enough to read the name tag...”Ken”. He was a older gentleman who was happy to talk about guns. We exchange our hello’s and I begin to make one more pass. I get back down to the used section. I find it odd that Cabelas does not take the time to clean any trade-in’s prior to putting them in the case. If you are gonna overcharge for a used firearm at least let it be a clean one.
Just as I was about to congratulate myself on not buying a gun, a clean, near perfect, 92FS handle catches my eye. Being 32 the whole M9 phase missed my generation. Only striker fired guns where in my sights. My curiosity got the best of me. I had to see this gun. Not because of what it was but simply it was CLEAN! I Look up to see Patient Zero starting me in the face.... “ You wanna see something?” Muffled out of his mouth as he was trying his best not to sneaze a billion germs my direction. I quickly retreat back to Ken....
Ken was now explaining to two men, “you have to fill out a 4473! No your buddy can’t do it for you!” After the two men stepped back to replan their extremely flawed approach. I asked Ken “ Could you get something out for me?” We walk back to the end of the counter both keeping our distance from the Spider Monkeys (Outbreak, 1995).
Ken unlocks the sliding door and I begin guiding his hand like a vending machine claw trying to retrieve a stuffed animal. He finally places his hand on the correct handgun and brings up for my inspection.
Before he ever hands it over he too realizes that the gun is in immaculate condition. Ken, hands me the gun and says “If, it has been fired, it couldn’t of been more then 50 rounds.”
I being to inspect all the normal areas that reveal the true age of the gun. The hood of the barrel, the locking block, feed ramp, and any majore scratches from heavy cleaning. Nothing! Not one scratch, mark of brass, or any thin spot on the finish.
But, I am not gonna buy a gun today is on repeat in my head. I then refocus my attention to the price tag.. 399.00...... I look up at Ken... “ I’ll take it!”
Like waking up from a deep slumber I find my self walking out the front door being handed the 92FS. Well crap, I bought a gun.
All the way home I played out a 1,000’s different scenarios in my head about how this was gonna go over with Mrs. Bowman.... It was like Dr. Strange in Infinty Wars.... I’m dead... yep. Thanos played by my wife is gonna snap her fingers and I will burst into ash.
I get home and quickly being to further inspect the handgun. It was perfect! Now what can I change on it?! Wilson Combat??? Yes, 400 to 700 bucks.... Crap! Maybe is i will just leave it stock for a bit... The way I see it, I won’t see the sun rise on the 14th any how.
Excited to show somebody my new toy, I take some pics and send them over to my Father-in-Law. (Don’t worry he won’t tell his daughter). I send the text and get no response.
About 5 minutes later he calls, “Looks Great!” Was the first words I hear over the phone. “How much?” $399.... “ Well if my daughter kills you tonight I want it to go to me.” Great! I am dead.... He then begins to tell me how much he loves 92’s and has been looking for a 2nd. He has had the image of Boondock Saints in his head and he wants another to the collection. He begins to tell me that he will be over to the house this Saturday and will bring 460 cash and take it off my hands..... “I didn’t buy a gun.” Played in my head using a Nixon voice....
Happy Valentines Day TCHLF!
